So Jon and I went to a holiday party hosted by my trainer for all of her clients. It was great and she had a ton of good (super healthy) food, etc.

I was talking to two women who have worked out with us on Saturday mornings (bootcamp) before and we were kinda laughing and joking about how lazy we’ve been during the holiday season with all of the parties and food and debauchery and one of them mentioned eating a whole row of oreos the other day for a snack, blah, blah, blah. Typical end-of-year-new-resolution stuff.

This guy piped up out of nowhere and started telling us that THIS, this is the time we should be taking better care of ourselves. We should be using this time to get to the gym more often and focus on clean eating, etc. Shun the debauchery!

I actually rolled my eyes at him.

I don’t know that I’ve ever been so outright rude to a stranger before.

I wasn’t feeling well – and I was tired. And maybe I wish I could be more resolute and do what he was saying? I don’t know. I don’t think so, though.

I’m trying really hard to have peace and balance. I think that was my resolution for 2015? Or maybe 2014? I don’t know. I just know that I’ve been working on stopping the black/white thinking.

Apparently it’s working.

I surprised myself at how quickly I was saying things about how it’s not the end of the world to enjoy a party or some cookies here and there – especially since we all regularly work out and otherwise eat well and balance it, etc.

I just can’t buy in to the idea that it has to be all or nothing anymore – because that just hasn’t proven to be the case – and I guess I just don’t feel like I have to keep my opinions to myself.

That 100+ pound loss and the years of generally maintaining it (and overall good health) despite all the holiday seasons of debauchery? Earned me the eye rolling.
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I’ve been thinking about 2016 and I think balance is going to be my continued plan.

I have peace with the fact that I might gain weight here and there and I know it’s not the end of the world. It used to feel like it would be devastating and would “ruin” all of the hard work – but I’m over it. I’m not scared anymore.

I think I felt like this smaller size was a little blip – but the longer it goes on, the more confident I feel that I can maintain it. I’m NOT going to suddenly be 100 pounds heavier even if I gain 10 pounds here and there during stressful months or holidays or whatever.

Imagine that.

I’m not so naive as to think that a huge gain isn’t possible over time. I know it is. I see my weight slowly creeping up and am aware of what COULD happen.

Balance is what I need now, though. Not a freak-out, all or nothing mindset.

I’m much less focused on healthy eating/living than I used to be. The scale often tips toward junk when I’m stressed with school or life or whatever, which I feel is totally normal – but is something worthy of attention.

I need to start tipping back the other way. I’m just slightly off balance, but I feel it tipping more and more each month.

I think I was a little (maybe a lot?) misguided in the past when I’d try to focus on eliminating or lessening stress and stressful circumstances. It’s just not going to happen. I was crazy to assume I’d have that much control.

I think the better option is to try to focus on maintaining balance DESPITE the stress.

So we’ll see.

My pants are getting tighter and my body is starting to ache quite a bit from lack of exercise – so I’m definitely feeling a renewed desire to get back on track.

I also just really miss focusing on good health. It’s a fun hobby that has slowly fallen by the wayside as other things have taken priority.
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I’m going to work on pulling myself out of this funk.

I did a bunch of baking, which is always fun. I enjoy looking for new recipes and trying new things – so I spent a couple of days last week doing that. I made cookies, peanut butter/pretzel things dipped in chocolate and “chocolate caramel crack(ers).”

I'm woefully behind on #100happydays with no chance of catching up. The days are good, just busy. Today, though, there was time for cookies! 🎄🎅🍪

I took some to my work party and sent the rest to work with Jon. I like doing it – but I don’t necessarily want it all around.

We had a good weekend, too.

Did absolutely NOTHING on Saturday. Just hung out at home, mostly on the couch.

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We went to Dollywood yesterday.

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It was pretty cold – for the FIRST TIME all season – but whatever. MC passed out before the parade, so we left without seeing Santa – but it was fun.

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I’m super excited about Christmas, of course. I went a little crazy with the presents for MC, but he is SO FUN right now. Also? He’s likely the only kid I will ever get to spoil like this (since he’s likely Jon’s only grandchild to live with us) – so what the hell, right?

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We’re having a dinner (with guests, etc.) on Christmas Eve and I specifically requested ham vs. turkey because I had these little ham sliders at a party and am TOTALLY making them on Christmas Day with leftover ham.

I am also making homemade hot chocolate and doing the whole hot chocolate bar thing I keep seeing on pinterest.

And Jon always gets up super early on Christmas morning and makes homemade cinnamon rolls.

So I guess I better make sure my stretchy pants are clean.

Looking forward to it.

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