I just scanned through all 2,851 photos in the Flickr “blog stuff” album I’ve been adding to since May 2009. There are a lot of really bad food pictures and some compelling evidence that I didn’t (and really still don’t) know how to dress a body that isn’t 270+ pounds – so, wow. I am still SO glad I’ve done this over the years. The pictures, the blog, all of it. I need this sort of trip down memory lane here and there. It’s easy to forget. (We’re thinking about making monthly meal plans for 2015 vs. weekly so I needed ideas.)

I’m also glad I weighed myself along the way and took pictures of the scale (and progress pictures at some points). It’s interesting to me to be able to see what I was eating and doing around the times of each weight – and to remember the drama and frustration and BS that accompanied the scale. I am not anti-scale at all – it’s a useful tool when used appropriately – but damn am I glad to be on this side of that problem now.

SO! I have been in a great mood the past few days because – as I’ve mentioned a million times – I LOVE this time of year. I love the idea of a new year with new goals and new things to accomplish.

Jon and I have been working on getting things together before 2015 arrives. I made a list of small house projects that I’ve wanted to accomplish and knocked a bunch of those out over the weekend. I also did a spring cleaning type thing and spent time yesterday mopping and vacuuming under things and polishing the counters and doing other rarely done chores. My to-do-before-2015 list has just two minor items left.

We’ve started to plan 2015, too – something we do every year. Jon travels so much that it’s pretty much imperative that we think ahead (meaning all vacation time and days off chosen, all work trips scheduled as much as possible so we know what weeks he’ll be gone, holidays and holiday travel outlined, etc.). I like to plan personal trips well in advance (and save and pay cash for everything), so that’s underway. Life is just easier when we coordinate calendars and sketch out the year.

In addition to planning the year, we’re also working on goals, of course. We have a few projects I want to accomplish this year (like completely redoing/remodeling our fireplace to add a wood burning stove), but most are more personal improvement things. Still in progress. My plan is to have a finished list by end of NYD.

I spent many years just letting life happen to me. I really can’t stress enough how much happier I became when I stopped that.

I signed us up for the local NYD 5k. This will be our 3rd year doing it. Jon’s feet are still bothering him (plantar fasciitis) and I haven’t done anything of consequence in several weeks, so we’ll probably be doing a lot of walking, but that’s ok. It will be fun anyway.

I am scheduled to start back with my trainer on the 7th and am contemplating how I want to move forward exercise-wise. I want to run some this year and I want to keep on with the strength training, of course, but I feel like I need a concrete goal for 2015. I don’t think I had any solid exercise goals for 2014 (other than to not stop), and I consequently didn’t accomplish much (though I didn’t stop).

The running thing turned out SO well and I had a great year when it was a goal/resolution (2013). I wound up going from nothing to running a 15k and made new friends along the way, etc. It was great. It’s really kind of too bad 2014 was a bust in that regard.

I’m thinking about yoga, but I currently HATE it. Realistically, pilates (and body flow classes, though I never got in to that as much as pilates) have been good for me in the past. A local yoga studio has some workshops and series classes and stuff like that I could commit to that include things like meditation and nutrition and mindful eating and other stuff I’d probably roll my eyes at and complain about, but would benefit from. I hated running, too, and still do – but I also love many aspects and recognize the benefits.

We’ll see. I have a couple days to think about it.

Jon had his colonoscopy last Monday and everything’s fine. He’s scheduled for another in FIVE YEARS. That just seems crazy to me, but the doctor assured us that it’s fine and he anticipates no problems, etc.

I was incredibly stressed the day of the colonoscopy despite the fact that he’s had multiple over the past few years. I really think the length of time between tests and oncology appointments (6 months) had me freaked out. I also sensed that Jon was nervous, which REALLY got me worked up. I am super anxious about everything and generally live with a high level of anxiety, but he’s the complete opposite – so I definitely worry when HE’S anxious.

I couldn’t focus on anything at all while I waited. I started playing mind games and freaking myself out every time someone who went before or after Jon was done (i.e., something MUST be wrong if it’s taking so long – or the opposite). They called me back to the recovery area when he was done and I started crying as soon as I saw him asleep in the hospital bed (in the exact same recovery area room as cancer day). I got it together while he woke up and mentally talked myself out of crying while we waited for the doctor, but I couldn’t keep it together after he came in and told us everything’s ok. I cried the whole morning. I think the relief just completely overwhelmed me. I don’t know. It was bad.

His oncology appointment happened on Friday and everything was fine there, too. CEA level is the same, chest x-ray was good, liver whatever was fine. He goes back for all of that testing again in 6 months.

His oncologist sort of scolded him, though, and asked if he’s taking care of the rest of his health. He noted his recent weight gain and asked about his cholesterol and the last time he’s had a regular physical, etc. He told us he frequently sees people who beat cancer and then neglect their health for whatever reason – and encouraged Jon not to do that now.

While Jon is good about physicals and testing and things like that (and cholesterol and BP and all that are fine), he HAS gained weight and he HAS been eating more junk and drinking more and exercising less and poorly managing work stress. So, we’re working on that. It’s on the 2015 list. Lots of stuff on the list!