So, where to start?

First up, last night:

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We had SO much fun. Jon? 40yo Justin Bieber.

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We walked through a store one day and saw the wig and laughed like maniacs at the idea, so we HAD to buy it.

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We had a bunch of friends over for chili, cornbread, cupcakes and beer. Our neighborhood is one that a lot of people come to for trick-or-treating, too, so it was a fun, festive night.

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We have friends who do an amazing yard display each year, so we ducked out for a little bit and went to their house to trick-or-treat.

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Came back to the last 6 standing and made them pose for a pic:

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(Brawny paper towel man, morton salt girl, Lane Kiffin and something about football that I didn’t understand because I’m not a football person but the costume was awesome, and Dexter plus victim – who brought bourbon in syringes, which I thought was a fantastic touch.)

Super fun night.

I’ve been thinking a lot today (and the past week, really) about the past year. Last Halloween, I was in the best shape I’ve ever been in. I was running regularly, working out a lot, eating well, etc. I know about how much I weighed around Halloween because I was doing a Whole 30 challenge and recorded my weight for informational purposes. I haven’t been weighing myself much lately, but I KNOW I’ve gained weight. I can feel it in my clothes.

Realistically, I think I’ve gained about 10 pounds (plus or minus 2-3 any given day). Like, really gained it. Not a fluctuation or a fluke. A solid weight gain.

I weighed myself today and am up 13 pounds from what I recorded around last Halloween.

Last night:

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Last year:

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My clothes aren’t as tight, of course, but trust me – I’ve gained 10 pounds.

I didn’t just suddenly realize this. I’ve noticed that my clothes are tighter and are uncomfortable – and I can SEE IT. I guess I just haven’t been all that worked up over it.

I’m starting to feel worked up over it, though. For one, I’ve always sworn that I will never buy bigger clothes – and I won’t. In the past, I haven’t worried too much about weight gains because I knew they were temporary and I’d be comfortable again after a few days of clean eating. Now, though … that’s not the case. #2) This isn’t happening despite healthy habits. This is happening because I’m mindlessly eating and not putting in as much effort regarding exercise.

I was sitting in a class the other day and the professor was talking about a research proposal paper that’s due (VERY) soon and was going on about how 30 pages would probably be good, etc. and I had this very sudden realization that I had reached into my backpack and pulled out a bag of trail mix that I’d purchased the day before. I wasn’t hungry AT ALL – but I was eating handful after handful during the class as my stress level rose thinking about all of the things I need to accomplish in the next few weeks before the semester ends.

It was seriously like some kind of light-bulb moment. While I was eating something relatively “healthy” … I was just eating to eat. I wasn’t hungry.

I’m just stress eating. And I’ve BEEN stress eating for the past year. Halloween seems to be super prominent in my mind because it was the start of a really stressful chain of events. We’d had Molly about 2 weeks, so that was brand new and radically changed our household. We found out about MC very shortly after Halloween. Jon’s child #3 moved into the basement at the beginning of January (also radically changing our household) after a couple of months of talks about what she was going to do regarding her future. I applied to grad school in November and was accepted early in the year and then had to go through a months long process of leaving my (beloved) job. Then I left the (beloved) job and MC was born and grad school started and here we are.

Nothing inherently bad (like cancer) – in fact, good things – but MAJOR life adjustments.

So, I kinda see yesterday as the start of a new year. I’m not waiting until January 1 despite my love of riding the new year wave of enthusiasm. Molly is grown and healthy and well-behaved and housebroken and all that. MC is the cutest baby that ever lived and we love having both of them here. The every other Friday situation is working out at my job. I have just a few more weeks before I will have officially survived my first semester in the PhD program. So. I’m ready. Our party last night was a fantastic start to a new year.

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I found this when I was looking for last year’s Halloween pictures:

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Which we’ll go ahead and compare with this (excuse the filthy door – only clean it for special occasions otherwise I would go crazy trying to keep it in some kind of decent shape with 2 dog noses):

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CRAZY.
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Other than feeling like things are a little out of control, life has been great lately!

We did the pumpkin patch/corn maze afternoon of fun, which I’d never done.

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MC is almost 4 months old!

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We’ll be taking his 4 month pics on Monday!

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He is just the cutest little chunk ever.

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Jon and I have been trying to do something fun together every Sunday since I often have to work or read or something on at least Saturday mornings.

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He also took a day off to hang out with me during my fall break.

(blackberry pie!)

Jon took the day off to hang out with me since it's fall break + blackberry pie! #100happydays (100/100)

Life is really, really good. Just WAY different than it was last Halloween in ways that I never expected. Time to get over it and get my shit together.

(I don’t know what’s up with Jon’s face, but the wig!)

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