I should be in bed, but I’m wide awake because I fell asleep on the couch when I got home from work … so here I am. Big mistake. It’s only just after 11P, so it’s not super ridiculous, but I wake up at 5 and need at least 8 hours and blah, blah, blah.

Quick things that have happened in the past 2 weeks:

I ran 6M for the first time!

It happened on the 17th, which was the day before my 33rd birthday – which felt important to me for some reason.

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I’m pretty happy considering I ran my first mile EVER (!) in January.

I’m back in full swing with the running group for the fall program, so I’m doing something every day but Sunday. It’s kinda life consuming, but I really love it. Who would have ever imagined?

Henry and I spend a lot of time together on the floor lately (stretching/dying/too sweaty to sit anywhere else).

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We’ve decided that we don’t want to commit to traveling to Kiawah Island (SC) in December, so we’ve decided on a local race – The Secret City Half Marathon (Oak Ridge, TN). I haven’t registered yet (meaning I haven’t fully mentally committed) – but I’m nearly there.
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My 33rd birthday happened.

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My mom came into town to celebrate and I wound up super sick after eating the birthday dinner I requested – so our plans were kinda shot for a day – but it was still a fun weekend.

Turns out I just can’t eat things like lasagna and chocolate cake and expect my body to respond kindly. (I say things like that a lot, don’t I?)

Jon was so kind to spend hours making everything from scratch – and I was super excited about my requested dinner since we rarely eat things like lasagna. Just couldn’t hack it.

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I’m really very lucky.

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I’m back to “normal.”

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I took that picture on the 17th (left the light out because I didn’t feel the need to record the hideous state of my feet). I was 162 again today.

I know I posted about the chart I made to keep up with things for 4 weeks and I probably said I was going to count calories and all that, too, since I was a little nervous that I’d gained a few pounds. Well, I did it for 3 weeks, I think, but stopped after I had a conversation with a running friend during one of our group runs.

She mentioned weight struggles and calorie counting and the all or nothing thinking (i.e., binging and restricting) that often goes along with dieting, so we talked about those things. She knew about Intuitive Eating (and had read the book), so we talked about that, too. I don’t know what I said or what she said or how it came about but I heard myself discouraging the very shit I was doing. I realized that I felt like I really wanted her to know that there’s a better way – and that there’s hope that the head drama can end. I was internally (and verbally, though carefully) arguing against my own actions – and felt very strongly about it!

I had a profound moment of clarity (a “what the F am I doing?”) and was done with it all from that run on.

So, now I’m back to normal (AFTER stopping the craziness) and the head drama is over. I need to have my warning signs tattooed on my arm or something. While I need to be aware of weight gain – and need to take steps to maintain my current weight – daily weighing and strict calorie counting just isn’t going to work for me. Makes me crazy.

Weight loss (and maintenance) is about SO MUCH MORE than food and exercise.

I repeat a lot of the same stuff, I know. It all will eventually stick. Takes time. And practice.
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What else?

I’ve got some health stuff going on that’s pissing me off, but that’s a long story for another day because I haven’t had time to research anything.

In a nutshell, a doctor recently told me I’m insulin resistant and wanted to put me on Metformin. This came about because of my issues with ovarian cysts (in testing for PCOS, which I don’t have).

My NON-FASTING glucose level (at 8AM – after breakfast, because this wasn’t a planned thing) was 45. Insulin was 15. She laughed and said the lab actually called her to make sure I was ok because of the glucose #.

I have an extremely rudimentary understanding at this point, but it just doesn’t seem like those numbers should warrant a 3 times/day pill to be taken for … ever, I guess? I had a hard time getting her to explain anything except how to take the drug – which I’m NOT taking – and was pissed that she completely discounted any other way to manage insulin resistance – IF it’s an actual issue.

I am skeptical, to put it mildly – and disheartened that I wasted so much money on a doctor who wanted to do nothing but throw drugs at me without ever inquiring about my lifestyle. I have ZERO other symptoms or issues. Low blood pressure, “fantastic” cholesterol, not technically obese, etc.

Anyway. I need to figure it out one of these days. I’m very open to suggestions/ideas/opinions should someone out there have some.

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