I just logged in to discover a 5 year anniversary announcement. Seems like I started this so long ago – yet not.

I’m really happy that I captured nearly my entire weight loss drama (started in January 2008, started blogging in August). Someday I’ll read it all again, I guess. Or maybe not.

So much has changed in 5 years. I can’t even imagine being the person I was when I started this whole shebang.
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I feel like I’m a lot less focused these days – but only because all of the lifestyle changes I made kinda stuck. They’re just normal now. We eat the same stuff, I weigh the same (well, usually) – nothing is really changing.

Except running – the ONE THING I just wouldn’t do throughout the years of lifestyle changes. So weird.

I ran another 5k a couple of weeks ago. It kinda sucked because it was hot and hilly and I just wasn’t feeling it – but we had fun. I’m glad I did it. Not my best time, but not my worst.

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I’ve been sticking to the lighter summer schedule as we transition to fall half marathon training (officially starts in 2 weeks, I think). I haven’t been keeping track of what we’ve been doing, but I was up at 530AM twice last week to run with two friends/co-workers. One was a 5M day (that was awful), the other a 3M + strides day (much better). I went to Body Flow, too, and ran a few miles on other days on my own.

I ran 4M with the group last night. Today, I’m up and was out at 530A – but I bailed at just over 3M and ran home. Jon and our friend are still out there doing 2 more, but I was just miserable. My hip was (is) hurting (probably because I need new shoes) and I felt barfy for most of the run. I wound up walking more than jogging – so I gave up.

Honestly, I’ve had a rough couple of weeks. I’ve been slow(er) and tired and struggling. It happens, I guess.
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I think I’m slightly worn out – emotionally – which probably isn’t helping the running situation very much. Jon traveled the past 4 weeks in a row, so I’ve been on my own almost constantly (but not this week!). My job is just … my job. I love it, but I’m frequently in crisis mode or working with psychotic clients or clients struggling to cope or whatever. One attempted suicide last week. Most are homeless. Others are sitting in jail waiting for beds at treatment facilities or halfway houses to miraculously appear. It wears on me sometimes.

Then, on Sunday, my mom’s dog – Buddy – suddenly died while having a seizure.

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I was at my mom’s house 11 years ago when she and my step-father returned from a trip to MI (where they’d been to see his family). She said she had a surprise and about 30 seconds later this little puppy came racing around the corner into the kitchen and ran right up to me, wiggling and whimpering and full of energy. I was in complete shock because my mom had been pretty staunchly anti-dog up until that point – but she said she had fallen in love with this one. I have such a profound memory of that day.

Buddy was a huge part of our family. I’m still in shock.

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I feel like a piece of my world is gone – over now – but life keeps rolling along this week, expecting me to fully participate.

I feel so sad for my mom.

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Anyway. Some good things have happened lately.

Jon went and helped his #4 child get settled into her dorm. We celebrated the weekend before she left.

Celebrating J's #4 child's last weekend at home before leaving for college. He made a cake, of course.

I look crazy here – but I chopped several inches of my hair off. It’s faster to dry, which makes me happy (I’m all about efficiency in the AM).

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And … we’re healthy and all that, I guess.

I think I just want to have a pity party today. I’ll try again later with the positivity.

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