So the 5K? Issues.

I’m freakishly anxious about it for some reason. I went to the group last night and talked to one of the first-time marathon people who is having the same sort of anxiety – on a much larger scale, I guess – so I’m not alone, but it seems ridiculous. I CHOSE THIS. Nobody’s life is on the line here. It’s just running. Running! Moving my body forward.

I’m all-or-nothing about this, though. I want to finish without walking and I have a general time goal – but I feel so unprepared. I’ve run 3 miles ONCE in my entire life on a flat track. I don’t know the route – never even walked it. I’ve participated in just 2 races – both to walk.

I legitimately don’t know that I can do this.

I’ve been told to trust the process, but I’m just not good at that. Like, AT ALL. I’m good at planning and preparing and practicing until I KNOW I can do something. I have practically nothing on the training schedule this week since we run on Sunday – but I feel like I should be running 3 miles EVERY DAY.

Just to be sure.

I think that I can make my rough time goal even if I walk some. I will feel like I have failed, for sure – like this one won’t count – but my last run (on Saturday) was 36 minutes of 3:1 (with the 1 being walks) and I hit 3.12mi at 33:52 – so I’m ok with that.

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Who knew this would hit all my buttons?

I love it, but dang. Have to work on the pressure I create for myself.
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I have really slacked with the food lately. We’ve been so busy that Jon hasn’t been cooking much – and I don’t cook at all when he’s gone. I’ve eaten leftover ham for dinner the past two nights in a row, but I’m hoping to start making more of an effort. It’s hard to care too much when I rush from work to exercise to home and then have approximately 2 free hours – but I need to care.

I’m attempting an April challenge similar to January’s. I didn’t feel like continuing it into February and I wasn’t feeling it last month, either – but I’m up for it now.

It’s really not problematic at all except for dinner. I’ve eaten the same breakfast + (packed) lunch for a long, long time. Meals outside of that, though, have been a free-for-all for the past few weeks. Time to reign it in and clean it all up a little bit. I just haven’t felt well and I REALLY feel unwell on days when I eat (what I consider to be) junk – so it’s time.

I haven’t weighed myself lately (since the last time I posted a weight, I think) – and I don’t plan to do that daily as I did before. Just want to feel better and know that I’m properly fueling my body vs. fueling my emotions/stress.

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So remember how I said we’re putting off the cataract surgery until another one develops? Happened last Wednesday.

I noticed immediately via Henry’s strange behavior. He had the squinting pain, too, over the weekend. He seems to be somewhat better now (pain-wise) – but he’s still moping around.

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We have my mom’s dog, Buddy, here this week. No playing whatsoever, no interest – which is highly unusual.

We have an appointment with the local university’s veterinary hospital in a few weeks.

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