So January ended, obv. We decided to celebrate by going to a Mexican restaurant + Bruster’s for ice cream.

One observation: BIG MISTAKE.

2) I suggested that we split something, but we wound up ordering separately because I wasn’t in the mood for whatever it was Jon wanted (and vice versa). We each wound up eating about half of what we ordered, though, which was surprising. We are clean-the-plate people, no doubt, so I should have known something was up when we each stopped and groaned and just couldn’t ingest any more.

3) I looked around and felt like everything I saw was just flat-out ridiculous. I didn’t necessarily feel judgy (I was looking at my own choices, too, of course – choices I have made MANY times and will likely make in the future) – just observed that nothing looked overly healthy or appetizing to me. As someone who used to eat at (much cheaper + dumpier) Mexican places multiple times WEEKLY, I distinctly noticed the shift in my thinking.

4) I went home with a stomachache, passed out, woke up at 3:30a feeling awful and then spent most of yesterday feeling as if I had the flu.

I skipped the running group yesterday morning because I felt so sick + lethargic and then didn’t make up the jog in the afternoon (as planned) because I was either asleep or nearly asleep or wanting to be asleep (plus it snowed AGAIN and was gloomy and I’m too prissy/accident-prone to jog in the slush).

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I find it EXTREMELY hard to believe that ONE (admittedly junky, large) meal (plus ice cream) caused so much drama, but I swear it did.
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I skipped breakfast yesterday and just ate a little bit of cheese + turkey since my stomach was unsettled.

We went grocery shopping sometime early in the morning and OF COURSE I wanted every junky item in sight even though I was mostly miserable. I would have bought and eaten a damn cupcake if I felt like I truly had a desire for a cupcake. I really didn’t – and I knew it when I realized I was trying to talk myself into every sugary item in the store – stuff I don’t even typically like.

I compromised and bought craisins and went home and made yogurt for lunch to try to get over the mind/body drama without going too crazy.

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Jon made dinner:

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He breaded the pork chops with potato starch and fried them in coconut oil. We split a sweet potato + he steamed some broccoli.

I opened a new salt grinder thing and didn’t secure the twisty top well enough and wound up spilling salt all over my food. I got most of it off, but ruined the sweet potato and most of the broccoli. The salt was huge and crunchy and just disgusting. Disappointing.
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So here’s the deal: I’m continuing with the primal/paleo/whatever you want to call it thing because I don’t like what the Mexican + ice cream indulgence did to my body. I pretty much felt the same way throughout all of December and I hated it and was ready for a change. There’s just no reason to slide back to that.

I am still going to eat honey and dairy and I will occasionally eat blue cheese dressing on salads + french fries + ice cream in small/thoughtful quantities, etc. – 80/20, I guess – but no more BS like Friday night. It feels abusive to my body.

I’m keeping on with myfitnesspal, too, because I’m enjoying it for now. Might as well roll with it until I start hating it again.
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I had to make up yesterday’s jog on my own today. It snowed again this morning for some freak reason, but I didn’t want to NOT do it since it was the only run/walk of the “down” week – so I did it once it warmed up a little and everything melted.

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I realized today that I have totally been screwing up my 5k times. I have no idea why I can’t retain the fact that a 5k is 3.12mi, but I just can’t. Last weekend I said my 5k time was 39:18, but that wasn’t true. That was my 3.21 time. Marginal difference, but still. It matters to me.

SO. Here’s the information as my brain is interpreting it today – 3.12mi times that I’ve recorded via mapmyrun (anything shorter than 3.12 not counted here + I almost never record the group runs):

Jan 1 – 41:56
Jan 20 – 39:59
Jan 26 – 38:31
Feb 3 – 37:15

Making progress!

I hate this shit. I almost died today from the cold wind and exploding chest and snot and crampy legs.

But I love it.

Lunch after the run = plain yogurt w/a little honey, craisins and frozen blueberries, ham, cheddar cheese & green tea:

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Seems a little nuts that this lunch was over 700 calories.

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I had an annual check-up on Friday. I tried to get a referral for a mammogram, but it turns out cancer paranoia isn’t actually a risk factor – so I didn’t get one.

The doctor told me to wait until I’m 40 – so, 7 and a half more years – even though I have lumpiness that will make it nearly impossible for me to determine what’s what (esp given my predisposition for catastrophizing).

Needless to say, I don’t see that wait happening.

My employer recently did some sort of mobile mammogram thing that I could have signed up for with no referral had I been 35 – so I guess I’ll hold out hope that they’re still doing it in a few years. Every other place I’ve checked in town requires a referral.

I’m having another ultrasound soon to check on my ovaries + the doctor told me to follow up with my gastro for a colonoscopy since she feels it’s worthwhile to check out the only other organ that might be causing some pain I’ve having. It’s likely symptomatic ovarian cysts, but she said she’s seen lots of instances of colon cancer lately in people in their 30’s.

She has no idea about Jon. Just silently willed myself not to seem too happy about her colonoscopy recommendation so that I might not seem insane.

I have little family history of anything but (likely self-inflicted) lung cancer – and I take pretty good care of myself (now) – but the same applies to Jon. SO.

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