I am having a hard time making myself go to the gym. So hard, in fact, that I’m just not going.
I think I’m going through a phase. It’s warm(ish) (sometimes) and nice outside … and I rarely feel like closing myself up in a crowded, noisy, chaotic feeling building before or after spending my (work) days closed up in a busy and sometimes chaotic feeling building.
I’ve been doing a lot of walking. I don’t kill myself to speed walk. Just walk. I love it.
This past week, I did the walking program thing with the group.
Met a friend after work on Friday to catch up.
And then walked around downtown after breakfast with Jon on Saturday morning.
I met with the trainer one night, as usual, and went to a Pilates class the same night. I did not, however, do week 2 of the C25K thing. I’ll probably get around to it this week.
So – 4 days out of 7 I did something – with little real effort or planning or stressing.
Would’ve made an effort today, but it’s COLD and dreary.
I’m ok with what I’m doing.
Killing myself to make it to the gym to plod away – by myself – on a machine – just doesn’t feel worth it to me right now.
Food-wise, things are the same.
We’re still planning ahead and preparing for the week. (When Jon’s in town, anyway. I mostly still eat scrambled eggs when he’s gone.)
The bags of basil pictured above mean it’s time for my favorite breakfast/lunch/dinner. (The macadamia nuts on top are for some sort of homemade pesto, I think. TBA.)
Jon made a shrimp curry thing last night. No recipe. It’s broccoli, green beans, a pepper, onion, shrimp, carrots, sweet potato, mushrooms, coconut milk, green curry paste, fish sauce, coconut aminos, little bit of brown sugar. We’re obv eating brown rice now, too.
Don’t remember eating this, but I found it on the camera. It’s a bi-weekly thing, at least.
Also found and remembered – my mom came into town last weekend to celebrate her birthday.
It’s unlikely I’ll ever pass up an opportunity to buy a box of cupcakes and have a tasting party. Cake seems so boring now that I’ve given myself permission to take a bite of each flavor.
(Same gift bag I gave Cody 2 weeks earlier. I recycle.)
I think I’ve officially crossed into “adult” territory.
I have worms in my refrigerator.
That I feed to the birds that I sit around and watch.
The garden has started growing – a little. Still mostly dirt.
Overall, life is good.
I’m very lucky.
I still have weird moments that I’m sure will always pop up to remind me that what’s in my head isn’t necessarily what’s in other heads – but I think I’m in a very good place re: food/exercise/weight issues.
Here’s something funny few people in my life right now would understand:
A client was talking about emotional eating and how hard she/he struggles with losing weight despite crazy amounts of exercise – and she/he actually said to me: “I’m not naturally thin like YOU.”
Guess how HARD IT IS to sit in silence and not refute something like that? Or laugh at the “thin” part?
I’ve had passing thoughts here and there lately about plastic surgery – primarily a tummy tuck – but I’m not sure I want to mutilate my stomach just to get rid of a little loose skin. I might go to a consultation. Just to see. Out of curiosity.
Jon’s oncology appointment is coming up this week. He had the blood draw + lung scan last week.
Coincidentally – or not – I’ve been bolting up from deep sleep lately with a racing heart + inability to (feel like I can) breathe + nausea + sweating.
I never had this problem when I could eat a cake for dinner.