So. Turns out the 8-5 thing is taking some time to get used to. I remember struggling with missing my routines and the monotony of a regular schedule when I quit working a regular full-time job and had to become accustomed to the ways of academia – but now I’m struggling to go back. I had no idea just how much I enjoyed the flexibility.

I’m sure it’ll be much easier to embrace once I’m not going to work in the dark AND coming home in the (mostly) dark.

I’ve been largely unsuccessful with the 5am gym plan.

I’m averaging about 2-3 trips/week – but they’re happening at night and on the weekends.

I think I went to the gym once this past week (at night), met with my trainer once (at her house) and canceled plans to go one night because I was peopled out and just did NOT want to deal with a crowded gym. Took a walk instead.

I miss the regular walks we took in MI for so many reasons – so I have zero guilt about skipping the gym – and plan to continue this.

I still have some sort of hope that I’ll get into a regular morning habit, but I’m not going to stress too much about it if it doesn’t happen. I’m fitting exercise in as I become adjusted to a new life/schedule and I’m keeping it a priority vs. an afterthought – that’s all I really care about.

The boot? I quit wearing it. It was a total pain in the ass. My foot has progressively gotten better each week. The walk (above) was the first time I’d gone so far in regular shoes, but it was fine. I’ve done the stair stepper thing at the gym, too, without pain – so I’m over it.

I realized today (as I scrolled through my prior entries to recall what I last posted) that I never came up with any sort of replacement reward for the 100 pound loss – and subsequently realized that I don’t really care.

It used to be SO important to me to meet this goal. Now? I’m not sure why I care so little about it.

I posted the announcement on facebook the day I felt excited about it, but had to do some follow-up.

The comments were all very kind and very supportive, but I started to feel like the conversation could veer toward Biggest Loser BS – like I was some pathetic person with zero self-esteem just because I was fat – but NOW! Now I should be able to see how wonderful I am!

One comment from an acquiantance from long ago – someone who doesn’t really know me at all – got me riled up pretty quickly. I had to carefully craft that response.

Which brings me to the Georgia kid shaming campaign bullshit.

I saw the billboards when we went to ATL for Thanksgiving. I saw them on the way down and was confused because I didn’t fully understand them – but didn’t say anything to Jon because I felt embarrassed (SHAMED) by what I assumed the message to be. I think it hit a little too close to home and brought up some emotion – so I did what I generally do when encountering something hurtful – I ignored it.

Jon mentioned it as we drove home and saw more billboards, though. He was confused, too, and didn’t fully understand the message – so asked me what I thought.

We were confused because WE COULDN’T FUCKING BELIEVE we were seeing CHILDREN being shamed on billboards.

Surely that wasn’t what we were seeing, right?

SURELY that sort of thing wouldn’t be happening.

(link above)

Strong 4 Life does include tips for healthier living on its site, but the main thrust of the campaign is still a horribly misguided focus on what a bummer it is to be fat. Shouldn’t we encourage our kids that being healthy is a positive thing on its own, and not just because “it’s hard to be a little girl” who’s fat? There’s absolutely nothing in a message like that other than the idea that girls are supposed to be “little.” It implies that the teasing young Tina now endures will melt away when she sheds a few pounds. Maybe. But change so you won’t get picked on? That’s a terrible philosophy, especially for the less ectomorphically inclined. Some kids will always be big, even if they’re perfectly healthy. As a Facebook commenter beautifully explained, “Just wanted you to know that you’re doing a horrible thing. Fat kids shouldn’t stop being fat because they get bullied. It’s the bullies that should be stopped.

I had actually planned to look it up/figure it out back when I saw the billboards – but got busy and forgot until I (very happily) started seeing the criticism show up in various places.

You can sign a petition to stop this campaign. I’ve also seen mention of an #ashamed twitter party/petition.

I am a mostly “normal” looking adult who felt embarrassed and shamed by the billboards. I can only imagine the true impact to the children who see this each day.

It’s ridiculous.

Jon had his first 3-month follow-up with the oncologist yesterday. His CEA level dropped even more (from 3.0 to 1.3) – news we were very happy to receive. His scan was normal. Everything is perfectly fine – except the scan revealed some (totally normal) arthritis in (on?) his spine.

We were both pretty stressed all week waiting for this appointment – and will likely freak out every 3 months for a long time – but it went very well.

He’s having a follow-up colonoscopy on Monday d/t some residual minor pain issues. I might need a Xanax to handle the flashbacks as I sit in the waiting room – but that should be the worst part (for me!) since the CEA level indicates no tumor.

We went to a Healthy Living Expo last weekend where we were able to walk through a colon and look at the stages of cancer, etc. Interesting, but sort of strange.

Inside a big colon.

I’ve been eating the same stuff just about every day.

Seriously. This is my lunch every. single. day.

I make two smoothies each morning and take one to have w/lunch + we’ve been buying whole hams and cubing them for easy protein + I take an apple, handful of walnuts and 5 prunes.

We boil a dozen eggs each weekend, so breakfast = that + a smoothie every day.

Makes life easy.

Dinners have varied, but I haven’t been taking pictures because they’d mostly look like this since I eat in the dark:

Jon made this chicken cacciatore last weekend. Very good.

We had friends over for dinner, so he made rice for the non-paleo eating people, too. Plus I bought some bread – another rare treat these days.

… which I finished off with Jon’s homemade pesto.

I’ve been sticking with fruit + unsweetened yogurt + almond butter + melted 88% choc to handle sugar cravings.

Point is: things are pretty much the same.