We went and did Jon’s pre-op stuff this morning – so he’s all ready to go.

His EKG was “perfect” and he didn’t even have to have any blood work done because “he’s a young and healthy guy.”

So weird.
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I can’t believe it’s been less than a week since the diagnosis. We’re already thinking in terms of before/after – but it’s all getting easier to handle.

Jon started a low residue diet today that essentially consists of refined crap he never eats.

He did this before his colonoscopy, too, so we sort of knew what to expect – and I think he’s sort of enjoying eating white/processed carbs (though he’d never admit it).

This was one of his choices last week: bacon & butter sandwich + couscous.

Jon’s mom arrived yesterday, so she made homemade chicken noodle soup for dinner tonight – strained for Jon.

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We’ll be eating white bread and white rice for every meal for a while unless I can figure out how to do things like the soup.

He’ll be doing this low residue situation for 2 weeks after surgery. No vegetables. No fruit. No fiber. No whole grains. No spices.
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Jon’s leave from work started today so that he could get stuff accomplished before being out of commission for a while, but we’re just about ready to go from this perspective, too.

We did some final shopping today and bought him a robe since we learned he’ll have a catheter and won’t be able to wear pants for a couple of days.

(I’ve promised not to google to determine exactly how a catheter works because ignorance is the way he wants to go with this. I am DYING to know, though.)

We’ll probably pack a bag tomorrow + get the iPad and kindle loaded up. I’m planning to camp out with him the entire time (we’ve been told to expect anywhere from 3-7 days in the hospital) and have no idea what to expect – so I’m taking lots of stuff to read. I asked – we will have wifi + a private room. I have no idea what I’ll eat – or where to obtain food – but I’m sure it will be fine.

He starts the colon cleaning thing (?) tomorrow – drinking the stuff + starving himself. It will probably suck as much as it did last week.
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We’ve had some fun this weekend, for sure.

His kids + mom + the two of us decided that “save the poop chute” seems to be an entirely acceptable colon cancer awareness slogan.

Colonoscopy awareness? “One crappy day … could save your life.”

Realistically – there’s no “polite” way to handle it. So why try?

Jon’s kids will have to have their first colonoscopy at 30 because of the strong genetic link.

And I’m trying to determine how best to get one myself – because I don’t want to lie about non-existent symptoms – but can’t necessarily easily afford to pay for it out-of-pocket, either.

(Did you know that a PET scan costs $7000? And that some insurance companies will determine they understand medical care better than actual medical professionals and will decide not to cover such things after they’ve occurred? Yeah. We’re so incredibly lucky to have the health-care access we have, I know – but still.)

I WILL do it.

You guys KNOW I’m a total hypochondriac. I’m not waiting 19 YEARS.

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