One of my goals for 2011 is balance.

I obsess a lot about school, work – pretty much EVERYTHING. I can’t just BE. I’m always thinking/planning ahead, worrying about what I SHOULD be doing, feeling guilty if I do something “fun” when I have work to do, etc.

I very often struggle and stress about reading anything that isn’t explicitly related to school/work – and I’m working on that this year. I won’t FAIL if I read something for fun, but I swear it often feels that way.

(I am SO ready to be done with school.)

Anyway – I have this stack of (65) letters that have been sitting in my file cabinet for several years now – I even moved them to MI with me. I’ve been wanting to to put them in chronological order and read them, but it just hasn’t been “important” enough.

I have no idea who they belong to, but a cursory flip through them reveals that they’re all written to a woman named Sara.

They start in 1928 as letters to her (at college) from her mom.

By the early 1940’s, they very obviously turn into love letters from her (military – stationed elsewhere) husband.

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It almost feels disrespectful to peek into someone’s life like this without permission.

Jon came into possession of these letters when his father died. They were in his father’s house, but we have no idea who this woman is.

I’m very excited to get them in order and figure out the story.
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I finished the Intuitive Eating book. Turns out I had read about half of it back in November. I wouldn’t have remembered had the kindle not started me where I apparently left off.

I took a bunch of notes and have some half-formed thoughts. Still thinking about it.

One thing struck me – they mentioned that their definition of healthy eating is “eating primarily healthy food and having a healthy relationship with food.”

I know I don’t have a healthy relationship with food. I’ve come a LONG way – but I know I still have work to do.

I’m just not sure I’m ready.
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Today’s food:

(Breakfast was 2 eggs.)

Lunch date with Jon when he arrived.

Standard dinner.

That’s it.

Not bad.

BUT – my thoughts have been focused on nachos and ice cream and brownies and all sorts of stuff ALL. DAY. LONG. I am actively stopping myself from having the things I think about.

I am fully aware that I cycle through the restrict –> binge scenario (though my “binges” are minor and are NOTHING like they used to be).

I am fully aware of each shift in the cycle.

I just don’t know that I want to do anything about it right now – or WHAT I’d even do.
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I made Jon go with me to buy a bike as soon as he arrived in town today.

For my sanity.

I am going to lose my mind if I don’t consistently get at least 30-60 minutes of SOMETHING each day. Given my life right now, this is what I decided would be best.

I spent zero time researching it, but we bought the smallest floor model – for its size, the small discount, and the fact that it was already assembled.

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