Today’s my last day of freedom. I thought about getting up and exercising right away to start the week off well – but decided that might be too much trouble. So … it’s almost 11am and I’m sitting in bed typing this.

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I’m home (in MI) and spent yesterday putting my life here back in order – so I’m having a hard time motivating myself to do anything but read blogs/celebrity gossip sites/message boards/the news today.

I started reading blogs/online journals in 1999 when I had a job as a receptionist at a law firm and wasn’t allowed to do anything but sit and look interested in answering the phone. Solitaire only goes so far – so I spent my 40 hours/wk reading about other lives online. I miss that life sometimes. But not really. One day is enough.
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I have some resolutions.

This is the year I will knock out the last 30(ish) pounds.

This is the year I will keep on with WW until I make it to my goal (preferably as quickly as possible since it’s ridiculously expensive for what it is).

This is the year I will regain my balance and will make my health/exercise/my sanity a priority and not an afterthought.

Turns out having a death close to me scared the shit out of me.

I had a couple of weeks of stress/emotional eating that resulted in some tight jeans (WW weigh-in tonight), but I’m feeling like I’m ready to move on now that the immediate stress and chaos of that situation is mostly over.

I feel like reality is hitting. Time to stop the excuses.
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Jon really, really wants me to do the primal or paleo thing. I am NOT willing to give up fruit and am only VERY reluctantly willing to give up dairy – so I guess I’m going to sorta kinda adhere to some of the primal/paleo stuff while counting points.

For a ONE MONTH trial – I’m giving up dairy except for small portions of full-fat yogurt and tiny amounts of butter (so: cheese and ice cream and milk) and I’m giving up grains and beans and starchy vegetables and all processed stuff.

Overall – it shouldn’t be too hard since we mostly eat this way, anyway. I just eat a lot of cheese and ice cream and beans and starchy vegetables.

And we eat out a lot. That’s going to be the hard one to change, for sure. We’ve tried before so I know it’s not realistic to give it up completely – it’s just going to be hard to give up nachos and rice and refried beans and choose healthier and more appropriate foods AND portions.

I’m ready. Two weeks of restaurants and sugar have left me feeling not-so-great.
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I read two books over the weekend (and recommend both as easy/fun/interesting):

The New Evolution Diet: What Our Paleolithic Ancestors Can Teach Us about Weight Loss, Fitness, and Aging (Arthur De Vany, PhD)

and

Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain (Portia de Rossi)

I was all upset when de Rossi’s book started the thinking about “good” and “bad” foods and disordered eating and how I was about to embark on a “good” vs. “bad” situation via primal/paleo thinking (and am a lifelong “good” vs. “bad” food/disordered eating person, anyway) … until I read at the end that she’s a vegetarian (maybe vegan?).

I sometimes wonder if the whole denial of “good” vs. “bad”/intuitive eating stuff isn’t just a semantics thing.

It’s weird to me that someone will say they eat whatever they want and have given up the “good” vs. “bad” thinking and are so healthy blah, blah, blah … then turn around and list things they won’t eat just because they don’t want to. But they COULD.

Well, no shit. So could I.

I’m assuming it’s a behavior/attitude thing because I can easily see how taking the power away from “bad” food items might be a good thing. I just don’t know that that’s ACTUALLY what’s happening – or if it’s a different (maybe healthier, I don’t know?) sort of psychological trickery.

I just picked up Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth about Your Weight (Linda Bacon, PhD) – so we’ll see if my opinion changes.

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