So, balance. It’s a good thing.

This weekend – instead of sitting around in pajamas writing and reading and stressing – we went to Traverse City. Jon planned the whole thing (as he normally does) – I didn’t even so much as look at a map prior to going, but I was excited to go someplace new.

We had the best day together.

Jon printed a self-guided “foodie tour,” which I read once we were on the way there and discovered included an old “insane asylum” turned restaurant/art gallery/loft/multi-purpose thing. I altered/canceled our plans to stop at a cider mill and brewery along the way because this asylum/village became my goal for the day and I did NOT want to screw around and have the shops close or something.

Highlight of my day, for sure. I felt a little weird taking pictures inside – which is ridiculous, I know, given its current use – but it felt like the place should be sacred or something.

We split something sweet and something savory at a place on the grounds called The Underground Cheesecake Company. All of it was FABULOUS.

Yam & beef soup + sourdough.

Sweet potato & pecan tart.

Last minute addition – a pumpkin + burnt butter icing cookie.

A really late lunch happened later at a brew pub – as is typical – in downtown TC. Some places handle food ok – this one … not so much. Wasn’t bad. Just not a place I’d eat if not for the beer – and I have no comment about that since I just sip/don’t have an opinion one way or another.

We went to Moomer’s Ice Cream, too – just outside of TC. Voted best by somebody. Can’t remember.

I had apple spice (which had big chunks of spiced apples).

The view:

Jon called and picked up a quick/easy “dinner” around 11PM and we ate in bed. That’s a good 2 hours past our normal bedtime – and I was sleepy – but we (I) were starving. That’s an emergency, you know.

We had a really great day just hanging out, walking around and in and out of shops, and talking about nothing.


We went into a bookstore to look around while we were wandering around downtown TC and I found this:

I think I mentioned once that I was sitting around one day and it occurred to me that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) would be great for weight loss – and did a .05 second google search and determined – as I thought – that someone else had already figured that out and done the work/wrote the book to make it easy … but I never followed through.

Despite the “diet” language that I can’t stand and the “think like a thin person” talk that seems like naive and juvenile thinking (at best) and the this works! I promise! this works! I promise! no really! this works! approach that seems to be going on during the first several chapters (despite no concrete proof being given) … I’m giving it a shot.

I’m a jumbled mess of black/white thinking and have been vacillating between perfection and failure for … ever?

Weight loss really isn’t my primary goal anymore (though I am going to lose 30 more pounds SOMEHOW). My ultimate goal is peace. It’s stopping the guilt and the thinking that I’m a “failure” if I eat x,y,z and the thinking that success = 100% perfection. I think I fucked myself up trying to restrict my diet too much – and now I need to undo some mental damage.

I’m planning to actually do this book day by day like she says (and share what I’m doing – because that’s my favorite part).

I didn’t cheat and read ahead (read the first few chapters to Jon while we drove home this morning), but I do know that I’m supposed to pick a “diet” a some point. So what does a person who doesn’t want to restrict (as in primal) or micro-manage (as in WW) or run wild (as in intuitive eating) DO?