I’m an emotional fucking mess right now. One minute I’m excited and gung-ho about moving … the next I’m crying and questioning what the hell I’m doing.
I know this is the right thing to do. I KNOW this is going to be a very good thing.
BUT – I drove home from Ann Arbor after my interview on Friday and was so happy to be home … back to an area that’s familiar and comfortable. I think that’s when it hit me that OH SHIT I am leaving in a few weeks and NOT coming back to this familiarity.
Knoxville is not my “home,” really. I’ve lived here just 4 years (though I don’t know how the hell 4 YEARS happened). Realistically, I still need the gps if I wander outside my immediate area … but it’s what I’m currently comfortable with.
On top of that, I think about a new job/internship and a new school and where do I park and where do I buy groceries and where is Target and will I ever have friends and will I hate myself every morning when I have to walk the dog vs. opening the back door … and then my head feels like it might explode.
On top of THAT, we’re not just moving – which seems as if it would be a lot easier. We’re duplicating our household.
BUT – new job! and new school! and new restaurants!
I’m all over the place.
I’ve done this before – the moving to a new city – twice. Alone. And I survived. It’s been the best thing I’ve done for myself thus far. Hopefully I’ll be able to say the same a year from now.
The stress, though! Damn.
I’ve been bouncing around between 184 and 186 for the past couple of weeks … so I’ve solidly lost a little vs. gaining. Good thing.
The weekend was good. I drove home from Ann Arbor on Friday and almost immediately fell asleep. Saturday was spent on the couch watching one episode after another of all the reality crap Jon won’t watch. I literally did NOTHING all day except try to get my license renewed (which wasn’t successful because I wasn’t willing to wait in the crazy line). Sunday, on the other hand, was spent doing the hands-and-knees type cleaning and packing and shopping and wholeheartedly preparing for the move.
I have food pictures, but I don’t know that I have the motivation to catch up today. I should – for my own sake. Maybe later.
I’ve discovered one slight negative re: CrossFit. Calluses are forming.