I almost died this morning.

I went to bed last night feeling pretty pissed at myself for the recent lack of exercise/food control/blogging and woke up feeling like my life (as it relates to exercise and food) is starting to veer off course … so I suggested – when I woke up at 7 – that we go to the gym first thing to get it out of the way (aka make sure we do it).

We went to the downtown Y (which I really like) vs. our regular one so that we could go to a morning boot camp class. I haven’t been to a boot camp class in 6 or maybe 7 months … and I’ve never been to one at the Y. Additionally, I have been LAZY and haven’t pushed myself at all since the beginning of the year when I took a break from the trainer.

Turns out 4 months of decreased exercise will result in a definite DECLINE IN ABILITY. Didn’t see that one coming, did you?

Oh. my. god. Not only did she have us spend the hour sprinting and jumping and bear climbing up the stairs of a parking garage, we did enough mountain climbers to make me feel pretty sure I will NEVER be interested in climbing a mountain.

I was embarrassed (stupidly, probably, but I couldn’t keep up with the sprinters). And furious (at myself). And I almost cried at one point when I chose to stop on the stairs (because I felt like I might puke).

I spent a lot of time training and working and building endurance … and then just stopped. I go to the gym and all that – but honestly – I haven’t EVER (personally/independently) pushed myself like I was pushed today. I might have been going broke paying a trainer but it was worth every GD penny I paid.

I want to be the person I was just a few months ago. I feel like I’m losing everything I gained.

I weigh 188.0. Still. I rationally know that I’m not the failure I claimed to be after that class, but DEAR GOD do I need to break past this weight.

We’ve had a fabulous day other than the almost dying/exercise humiliation.

We ate breakfast, in pajamas, on the deck – eggs scrambled with basil, rosemary and green onions, and 1/2 an avocado.

We walked to the farmers market when we left the gym but didn’t really shop … just walked around. We ended up driving to a different (actual store) market to pick up groceries – where we ended up eating lunch.

We split a philly cheesesteak that was all healthified with grass fed beef and organic ingredients. It was good, but there’s no mistaking this for the (maybe a little more appealing) junkier version.

We split it since we’re trying to control the calories. We also spent the lunch having a come-to-jesus talk about my perception that we’re (really I’M) getting lazy re: exercise and food choices/portions.

The result – we’re going to be less lazy.

Jon roasted a chicken and steamed some broccoli for dinner – fairly early since our lunch was small and I was starving.

I’ve been trying to persuade him to make kale chips since I read about them seemingly EVERYWHERE, but he hasn’t been willing to try them until tonight. They were ok.

I had yogurt + fruit + melted dark chocolate for dessert.


I had a few pictures on my camera when I dumped the ones I took today.

#1 – I tried oatmeal again last week … hoping some oatmeal-liking miracle had happened, I guess.

I didn’t get very far even though I made it with (whole) milk and tried really hard to appreciate it.

Switched to a more typical (for me) meal/quick breakfast.

#2 – Jon made a really good dinner a few nights ago. He boiled some brats in beer and water – then sort of made a stir-fry in the pot with cauliflower, peppers, onions, and mushrooms.

When I say we’re lazy with the food choices, I mostly mean we’re eating out too much. This picture reminded me that Jon cooks really fabulous meals like this most of the time. We’re definitely not back on hamburger helper or anything like that. We’re just eating out 3-4 nights a week because we’re tired and busy and don’t feel like cooking + cleaning. The portions are larger – and it’s very expensive – and I just feel more and more like it’s not worth it (even though we legitimately enjoy it very much).

This might mean that I MIGHT start taking over some cooking duties. We’ll see.

We’re down to 19% free space on the dvr. Making progress.