I know I’ve mentioned a few times that we’ve had some life decisions to make.
Everyone has been told about our plans, so I finally feel fairly safe in bitching about the stress. And ohhhh … am I READY.
I’ve been accepted into a program at the Univ of Michigan, so I’m moving to Ann Arbor in a few months.
I’ve known (and have been obsessed with this) since January, but there have been a lot of things to work out – Jon’s kids, Jon’s job, money, our house, our LIFE. It’s all (mostly) worked out, though.
I’m going, Jon is mostly going, life will continue here in Knoxville without me until I return.
I feel like I might throw up every time I think about it, but I think it’s going to work.
So. What does an emotional/stress eater do in times like these?
Freak the fuck out.
Figuring out a way to cope with the stress of a new city where I don’t know a soul, a new school/program, finding a new place to live, etc. should be fun.
This will be the third time in my adult life that I’ve picked up and moved to a new city, but the first time since I decided to stop eating like a maniac and since I stopped smoking – my previously preferred coping mechanisms.
It’s also the first time since I got married, bought a house and established a life somewhere, but hey. Who doesn’t enjoy a challenge?
For now, I’m resorting to mumbling – predominantly: “it will be worth it” – over and over in an effort to keep myself sane.
I fully recognize how lucky I am to have this opportunity, how lucky I am to have such a supportive partner, and how lucky I am, in general, that THIS is what I have to stress about, but I’m not going to lie – I’m scared.
In other news, I am officially effin’ PISSED that I am still at 189.0. I briefly looked through my archives and found that I hit 189 for the first time back in SEPTEMBER.
I weigh just once a week and am almost never affected by the weight, but I was affected yesterday. It makes absolutely NO sense. Maybe I lowered my calories too harshly? Maybe I’ve made a mistake going back to higher levels of carbs? Maybe my body is just incapable of weighing anything lower? I DON’T KNOW. It’s highly frustrating because I just can’t figure it out. 1500 calories a day + daily exercise should have resulted in something – unless I freaked my body out by eating too little. I knew it was a possibility. It’s my only guess.
NOTHING IS WORKING.
Jon fed me today.
3 eggs prior to jogging.
He picked up some chopped pork, green beans and turnip greens from a nearby BBQ place for lunch.
Dinner was a chicken cacciatoreish thing. He didn’t use a recipe, but it was chicken, peppers, onions, celery, carrots, mushrooms, garlic, crushed & diced tomatoes, black olives, bacon, red wine, olive oil and some seasonings – over asparagus.
I fell asleep reading and slept most of the afternoon, so I’ll likely be up all night. Big mistake.