Well, I was 191.5 when I weighed this morning. A week of counting points, feeling like I’m starving most of the time, not eating in restaurants at all, exercising every single day AND (mostly) restricting carbs has netted me a whole HALF POUND loss. Nice, huh?

I’m really feeling like I’m at a loss. I know I’m not flawless with my diet, but this is ridiculous. I just can’t seem to break out of the 188 – 192 weight range. I’ve been here FOREVER. I’m here if I spend the week focusing on food/exercise, I’m here if I spend the week eating in restaurants and barely exercising. I JUST CAN’T WIN.

Jon and I have had several “debates” lately about food and how we choose to eat, etc. He is all about no/low carbs, high protein, fat, etc. and thinks it’s crazy that I’m feeling like wholeheartedly going back to WW … which means restricting my fat intake, and realistically, for me, adding more carbs (mostly in the form of rice and whole wheat pasta).

His argument – a bunch of scientific stuff I haven’t taken the time to read.
My argument – I DO NOT lose weight when eating his way. I maintain wonderfully, I feel great, I think he’s probably right … for the most part. It’s fabulous and I know (assume, based on anecdotal evidence) people lose weight eating this way and all that. I have PHYSICAL EVIDENCE that it doesn’t work for me for weight loss, though. I have 80 pounds of PHYSICAL EVIDENCE that WW and restricted fat intake works for my body.

He thinks I should eat something like zero carbs a day and that it’s my fault I’m not losing weight because I’m probably eating 100 – 150g carbs per day. I think he’s wrong. So … we’re having a contest. If his weight drops below 180 and stays there consistently for at least 3 weeks after eating the fat and severely restricting the carbs, then I’ll do it his way. If I get there first, he has to SHUT UP about WW.

The upside – I am SO going to win. The downside – I’m going to have to cook for myself or at least put some effort into dinner each night since he cooks with butter and is pretty fast and loose with the oil.

This all seems very obsessive, doesn’t it? It’s fun for us, though. A hobby. Someone asked a group I was in yesterday what we do for self-care – to protect from (professional) burn-out and misery and all that since we see/hear/are confronted with/deal with really horrible/sad/distressing things. The first thing that popped into my mind was this blog, exercise and nutrition. I spend WAY more time thinking about work and school and life than I do about how many carbs I’m ingesting or if I’m exercising enough or whatever. But – I’m glad I have this. I’m glad I take the time to think about these things and to write about it and obsess a little each day. Beats the shit out of the flip-side of my self-care strategy, which is big macs and 272 pounds.