So, I went to the testing place yesterday and took the HUGE and VERY IMPORTANT exam and left feeling completely drained and stupid and hungry.
Interesting side effect of the whole thing – the situation highlighted another example of my changed life. 2 years ago, I would’ve stopped at McD’s, no doubt. I would’ve deserved it. I would’ve been entitled to it. Yesterday? It entered my mind for a very brief second, but was gone almost immediately. I thought about stopping to pick up a salad, but again … even that thought was gone almost immediately.
This goes a long way in confirming to me that my work to change my lifestyle was work to fight an addiction of sorts. The similarities between changing my eating habits and stopping smoking (I smoked for ≈ 8 years and quit ≈ 3 years ago) are unbelievable. I’d never compare it to drug addiction – at least MY eating issues experience – but it’s very similar, for sure. The thoughts are still there, though lessening – I have to work to control them – I’ve had to work to change my behavior – still have to work on changing my behavior.
I’ve been worried that this semester and the ensuing bullshit would cause a full relapse (of sorts), but it just hasn’t.
We’re trying our best to maintain the commitment we made to not overdo it for the next 8 weeks, but we’re also trying to figure out ways to continue to eat at the restaurants we really like.
Learning to eat appropriately at restaurants has been last on my list, but it’s time.
Jon thought we would be able to go to the Indian place and be ok, so we went last night. I definitely didn’t overdo it, but I still wound up eating more carb-heavy stuff than he did.
I ate some of the crispy bread thing. No idea what it is, exactly, and I’ve never asked. I ate it because I LOVE the green chutney. Not sure what it is about green condiments, but I seem to love them all.
We ordered a chicken appetizer.
It came with another appetizer, which we were told was complimentary when we questioned it. I guess we could’ve told them we didn’t want it, but we didn’t.
We ordered a spinach/chicken dish and a shrimp dish.
No naan (and I really didn’t miss it as much as I thought I would). Jon ate none of the rice, but I ate maybe 2 spoons of it.
Overall, not too bad. I think we might be able to continue to eat there. Next time – no crispy thing, no fried appetizer and no rice. I ate just a small amount of each, but still wound up feeling bloated with a slight stomachache. Not worth it.
I really want to stop my all or nothing restaurant attitude – last night was a good first step, I think.
Weekends typically go to hell because we go out to eat and I just eat whatever. I think we both understand that complete abstention is not the way to go – moderation has been what we’ve relied on throughout it all and what has been most effective – so working toward incorporating things we WANT to eat with healthy moderation seems to be a good idea.