I will be surprised if I make it through this semester with my sanity intact.

The bad part: I am feeling unbelievable levels of stress. The good part: I’m handling it pretty well.

(If handling it well can mean not eating everything in sight. If handling it well means being happy and positive and full of joy for life … well … that’s another story.)

It occurred to me as I was driving home from my session with the trainer today that I live a life just completely different than anything I’ve ever known. I woke up at 5:45AM to work on some stuff, dealt with school all day, have a HUGE and VERY IMPORTANT exam to take tomorrow that I feel the need to keep preparing for, obviously … and yet I still maintained my commitment to exercise and not eat a bunch of comfort food/shit. 3 years ago? Never would’ve happened.

I guess I just never imagined my life would be this way. My eating habits and my attitudes toward health and wellness, in general, were incredibly screwed up. None if it mattered. Things fell apart during times of high stress – definitely didn’t continue to care about what went my mouth and can 100% guarantee exercise wouldn’t have happened.

I’m amazed sometimes at how much I’ve changed – especially at how radically my coping methods have changed.

I ate breakfast at 6 this morning since I was up working on some stuff. I am typically never hungry that early, but I think the calorie restricting I’m doing is making me hungrier than normal. Typical – scrambled (in butter) eggs, yogurt/fruit.

(My camera is fixed. Jon took it to a camera store and they determined that something was wrong with the lens – and fixed it. I didn’t realize I’d miss it so much.)

I packed my lunch as I made my breakfast. An apple, a few cheese cubes and leftovers from last night – the sauce was bottled sauce with lots of Italian sausage added (and probably some other stuff I’m not aware of since I didn’t cook it) – we ate that on top of (and underneath as leftovers) roasted squash and onion (that had parm cheese and some herbs on top).

Tonight’s dinner was seriously fabulous. I don’t know how it was made. Jon said he made it up while driving to the grocery store – based on stuff we already had on hand. FABULOUS. He used another bottled sauce (this time Vodka sauce) and added onions, garlic, bacon and chopped up chicken. He put that on top of chopped up and sauteed asparagus and mushrooms.

SO. GOOD.

Someday I might talk about The Biggest Loser and what a load of bullshit it is and about how I can’t stop watching … but not tonight. I’m rapidly approaching the point where I’m close enough to this HUGE and VERY IMPORTANT exam that I’m going to start puking from nervousness.

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