Today’s theme: SUGAR.

Breakfast was ok. We (Jon’s mom and I) had to be at the airport fairly early to pick Jon up, so we waited to eat (at a restaurant) until we had him. I had a couple scrambled eggs, bacon and 3-4 bites of the hashbrowns. No picture because my small camera is broken and I was too paranoid to whip out the larger one.

Lunch was pizza. Absolutely fabulous pizza. I don’t know if it’s just been so long since I’ve had pizza or if this pizza was really special or if I was really hungry from a crazy busy morning or what, but it was GOOD – and at Mellow Mushroom – a place we don’t typically frequent. We split a white pizza of some kind. Olive oil, feta, parm, sun-dried and fresh tomatoes … and I don’t know what else. It was good.

We stopped for ice cream afterward, which was completely my idea. Pizza + ice cream unleashed a brutal sugar storm unlike any I’ve seen in a long time, for sure.

I just HAD to have a mini pecan pie from the farmers market not two hours later. And I just HAD to eat a few small bites of the brownie Jon picked out.

We ate half of each before dinner – which was flounder, kale and tomatoes from his mom’s garden.

His mom offered cake and ice cream after dinner – and I think it’s safe to say I didn’t hesitate even a fraction of a second. I had already been thinking about the other half of the pecan pie and was planning to eat that – but CAKE? And more ice cream? Suuuuure. (We ate outside in the dark.)

The pizza (carbs) + ice cream triggered some craziness, but it’s ok. I keep telling myself it’s just one day – except I know it’s not. Unfortunately, I’m now going to have to spend tomorrow working harder than I typically do to turn down/avoid the sugar/carbs. And probably Sunday, too. One day realistically = 3 or 4 days of emotional BS as I try to regain willpower.

I love sugar so much … but it’s fucking evil. My behavior re: it just isn’t normal. One bite snowballs me straight to over-indulgence.

I don’t feel guilt. I did it, I enjoyed it and I’m glad I ate it all. It was fun … very worth it. Every instance of negative behavior gives me a chance to correct it, work on it, and reinforce good behaviors – so I guess something positive could come from it. I’m choosing to see it that way right now, anyway, as I sit and moan and groan about how awful I feel.

No exercise. Not interested in dealing with fitday. VERY happy Jon’s back.