I’ve been feeling incredibly irritable today. I’m trying to think about what I can blame it on since PMS is out – I’m drawing a blank. I suppose this was going on yesterday given all that cooking/yoga hatred, but I think I was too wrapped up in hating to notice. Not 100% sure what’s going on, but I knew it was going to be a bad day when discussion on the news this morning just about caused my head to explode.

Breakfast = 1 scrambled (in butter) egg and 1/4 cup yogurt with a strawberry, some blueberries and a peach (eaten in the car on the way to work).

My packed lunch = standard salad (but with just spinach vs mixed greens) with olive oil/vinegar, some pistachios and a babybel cheese.

We were supposed to go to pilates tonight, but we literally had 3 minutes to rush to change and get ready to leave once we were both home … neither of us felt like dealing with it. Jon had been traveling all day and I really wasn’t too eager to frantically rush to get there, so we decided to go somewhere for a quick/cheap dinner instead.

2 bites in and I was done. Sickeningly sweet dressing. Too much of it. Very little chicken. Overpriced. Not worth it. I ate the chicken, but that’s it. I just couldn’t handle the dressing.

I’m thinking I should’ve checked it out PRIOR to going. Never ordered this one before. Never. Again.

Ingredients: Romaine lettuce, citrus-herb chicken breast (boneless, skinless chicken breasts, water, orange peel, potassium lactate, salt, spice, rice starch, turbinado sugar, garlic, lemon peel, lemon juice powder, mustard flour, citric acid), asian sesame vinaigrette (water, distilled vinegar, high fructose corn syrup, soybean oil, sesame oil, maltodextrin, salt, contains less than 2% xanthan gum, potassium sorbate and sodium benzoate [preservatives], spice, dehydrated onion, sucralose, calcium disodium EDTA added to protect flavor, dehydrated parsley, citric acid, sodium citrate), wonton strip (wheat flour [niacin, thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid], vegetable oil [soybean and/or cottonseed], eggs, salt, water), almonds, cilantro, sesame seeds.

Seems a tad excessive for a SALAD.

It was nice to be able to just sit and talk and reconnect and not worry about dishes and cleaning and tv and internet and all the other distractions at home, though. I realized – again – that the enjoyment we get from eating out doesn’t necessarily have to come just from the food we choose to eat – I enjoyed the night and I barely ate. Eating out doesn’t have to revolve around food and be a free-for-all … a for sure “cheat meal” … or in any other way screw up my plans/goals. It’s ridiculous to think we’ll ever give it up and imperative that I keep practicing healthy habits when we go out – because it’s just always going to happen. I want it to happen. I want it to be something I look forward to – not something I dread because I inevitably lose control -> guilt -> remorse.

I have such a dysfunctional relationship with food – it was nice to NOT experience that tonight and to spend my night having fun – not obsessing. (Even though I swear I briefly thought about walking right down the sidewalk to the ice cream place and briefly contemplated how I’d justify it. This is my reality. Dysfunction.)

Needless to say, I was starving when we got home. I didn’t feel like eating much, though, so I didn’t.

I haven’t done any official exercise/activity today, but I’ll get around to something before going to bed – even if it’s just stretching or crunches.

Calories = 1,682, Fat = 119g, Carbs = 90g, Protein = 79g. (This is slightly inaccurate, though, given I ate only the chicken and not the whole salad at dinner – but calculated the full portion.)