I’ve always considered myself a fan of the fat acceptance movement by virtue of … uhhhh … general acceptance of people for who they are and the value they bring to the world. Seems pretty simple.

Honestly, though, I’m not sure I even recognized a need for “fat acceptance” until it was brought to my attention via sites like Big Fat Deal and more recently, We Are The Real Deal – but maybe I’ve been living in a bubble? I never got the memo that I’m supposed to hate my (or anyone else’s) body.

(Or maybe I really AM an arrogant bitch who should care more about what other people think/say/do?)

It seems I’m more and more at odds with the fat acceptancers of the world as I lose weight and god forbid … DIET … so I’m finding it hard to appreciate and embrace the discussions I read – which is unfortunate. I think it’s very enticing to try to pretend condemnation is conversation … and I think that’s happening at a lot of the sites lately (esp comments). Big turn-off.

Is there really a need to tear down one way of life to have another accepted? I diet, you don’t – or vice versa. Big fucking deal. I don’t want to be fat anymore, but that says NOTHING about anyone but ME. We all struggle, we all make mistakes, we all have a right to live peacefully and happily with our choices – without condemnation. I just don’t think the chip-on-the-shoulder method is a productive way to encourage change and/or conversation.

A little bit of self-awareness goes a long way is all I’m saying.

(And yes, I recognize I’m a little touchy about this because I perceive that MY way of life is being attacked during some of the discussions.)

Anyway.

We spent many, many hours in the car on Friday driving to Memphis to help my mom finalize/empty her house prior to renting it and leaving permanently.

Think I’m not crazy enough to load up my food and bring it along for the 400 mile drive? You’d be wrong.

I look at the pictures we took and I see exhaustion, but we actually had a really good weekend despite the goal being carpet cleaning, taking last minute junk to the dump/goodwill, scrubbing the garage, etc. I was able to spend a little bit of time with my dad/his wife and my grandmother after all of that was accomplished, so I’m happy about that – pretty good considering we were there for a day and a half.

I thought the weekend would be really hard – seeing my mom’s empty house – since I was so jacked up over everything in Key West. Turns out it was fine. She’s happy and ready to move on, so I’m happy – and thus, no food craziness. I even turned down an opportunity for ICE CREAM.

Also? I’d be a fool to not be excited about a permanent FREE vacation location, right?

I had a session with the trainer early this morning that completely wiped me out even though it wasn’t too hard. I’ve decided to start seeing her more per week – ramping it back up to where it was a few months ago. I might have to start selling some organs or something to afford it, but it’s worth it. I am SO close to my goal, but I know my life will become crazy as soon as classes start – and I recognize that I still need guidance/help/motivation/commitment. I’m willing to sacrifice to provide that for myself.

Haven’t eaten anything yet today, but I’m sure I’ll get around to it eventually.

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