I have now officially made it through a tempting lunch out without giving in.

(I sometimes seriously wonder about the kind of jacked up thinking that led me to a place where a lunch out is something I have to overcome and be proud about – but … it is what it is.)

I have always – throughout the entire weight loss so far – eaten pretty much whatever I want at restaurants with just a few limitations. The past few weeks, though? I have almost no desire to eat a bunch of junk just because it’s easy and borderline excusable. I’ve been out a few times with Jon – which doesn’t really count since we’ve been prepared to eat within the limits we set for ourselves each time – but I’ve now been out with OTHER people and have remained steadfast.

Today I was with my family and was STARVING and honestly … it was a little hard. I came very close to eating a piece of bread when it was offered … and I came even closer to eating a piece of the pizza my mom and brother split. Just opening the menu was a challenge – the rationalizing started almost immediately. I can have fried shrimp, right? There’s not THAT much breading. Same with onion rings. It’s an onion – can’t be THAT bad! Ooohhh … I’ll have pasta. One indulgence won’t kill me. This is a special occasion – my mom’s here! All bullshit, for sure. I knew it as I was thinking it, but damn – it’s still there. I know a piece of bread or pizza won’t kill me. It definitely wouldn’t be the end of the world. It’s food, not a crisis – I know that. I’m just tired of fucking giving in and having to restart the fight. I chip away at my resolve every time I give in. So I didn’t this time.

It’s getting a lot easier – mostly because I truly see and feel the benefits of eating a diet that doesn’t include any of that stuff. Also? I very vividly remember the sleepy, stuffed, bloated feeling that accompanies the pasta and the fried food. I just don’t want to go there again. I’m sure I will at some point – occasionally, because let’s be honest, I love most all food – just not now.

I didn’t take a picture, but I had a pretty decent lunch despite the crazy thoughts: grecian salad is what this place called it – lettuce, tomato, egg, anchovies, feta, pickles, pepper, italian dressing. Not the best in the world, but ok.

Breakfast was this (in a coffee cup because it’s easier to eat in the car):

Dinner? I don’t know. I’m just not hungry for some reason. I know I need to eat more than yogurt/fruit/walnuts and a salad, but I’m just not feeling it tonight.

My mom drove through town and dropped her dogs off until Saturday, so my barking/whining tolerance is being tested. Two bark because they’re playing – one barks because he doesn’t like the playing – and they all whine for attention. I’m sure it’s going to be fine once everyone is settled and over the omgnewdogwehavetoplay business.

This picture courtesy of treats held overhead and lots of demands from me to “SIT, DAMNIT!”

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