When am I going to get serious?

I console myself with the fact that I am down one pound since I renewed my commitment at the beginning of the year. But it’s one pound. The scale probably isn’t even accurate enough to discern a one pound change. I’m probably just lucky!

Losing weight, while a good indicator of improving fitness, is not even my focus. I just want to be stronger, leaner, and more fit. I think I’m sitting here suffering from guilt, knowing that my eating has been a out of control the past week. Travel weeks seem to do that to me. I did ok for most of my breakfasts last week. Every day, I had properly portioned, low-carb breakfasts. Two boiled eggs and a banana. A veggie omelet, no cheese, hold the toast and hash browns. All of the breakfasts I ate were fine. Lunches were ok, too. No carbs. I had salads with some kind of protein (chicken or salmon). One day I had a grilled pork chop and vegetables. I think I kept it together ok for most of the day on the days I was out of town.

My downfall was the evening meal. After making sales calls all day, driving all over the state of Michigan in the freezing cold and snow, I found myself having late dinners (7 to 8-ish) and lost control on two occasions. The first wasn’t bad as far as the meal itself was concerned. I had grilled salmon with broccoli. The problem was the alcohol. The guy I was with was paying for the meal and he kept ordering Martini’s for us…and I didn’t say no to the fun, nor the empty calories. I rationalized that it was ok because I had run on the treadmill for 45 minutes just prior to dinner.

The next night there was no rationalization. I was just reacting emotionally to a very long, stressful day. Traveling through snow and vicious traffic in the Detroit area, I didn’t get to my hotel until 7 pm. I just wanted to eat and go to bed. And eat, I did. My counterpart took me to J. Alexanders and he picked up the tab. He ordered an appetizer, and since he was paying, I felt like it would be rude not to partake. The chips and spinach queso dip, along with my huge salad, baby back ribs, and a bottle of wine, were also a good (if not proper) stress relief. It was delicious and fun. But now I regret it.

Sarah has been doing quite well. She has been counting weight watchers points all week, and is rapidly closing in on me, losing 7 pounds since the beginning of the year. That is fabulous, and I’m very proud of her! She’s been very disciplined all week. That’s why she deserved to indulge in her weekly “cheat meal” yesterday, and I had no hesitation in cheating with her. It kind of ballooned into a “cheat day”, though, including ice cream at Bruster’s. Yesterday, my calorie intake was WAY out of control!

When you fall down, you just have to get up. I think Weight Watchers is kind of a pain in the rear, but it works well for Sarah. And it has worked well for me in the past. I guess it’s time to start counting points. Part of me thinks this is stupid. I know what proper portion sizes are. I know what foods I should be eating. I even know how to eat out at a restaurant and make healthy choices. Why can’t I just do it all the time? The answer is, I love to eat and I don’t WANT to do it all the time. But I also love feeling fit and healthy and I want to make good choices. If I need to set WW point goals in order to discipline myself, I guess that’s what I’ll do. I better go start counting…

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