I am so freakin’ exhausted.  I’ve had a semi-crappy day that I could’ve salvaged by going to pilates, but I skipped it because I thought I needed to attend a meeting. Turned out to be a pointless meeting … so I’m disappointed. VERY disappointed. I can’t believe how much I miss pilates when I don’t go. It’s almost as bad as my cardio jonesin’.

I wish I could juggle things so that days like today (gone over 12 hours, 8 hours between lunch and dinner) don’t happen, but it’s just not possible. Tuesdays and Thursdays are full days of classes for me. I also have a field placement (internship), a multitude of group projects, tons of reading, a husband, a dog, a house, a life. I love what I do and am very happy with my life, in general, but I am increasingly finding that I just have to find time to exercise every day. I’m not happy without it.

I theoretically could’ve gone to the gym after the meeting, but I was starving. I could go now, but I’m too tired. And the dog would die from loneliness if I left again. Really. Or maybe I would?

One positive: I spent about 30 seconds contemplating fast food, but I didn’t do it. I know without a doubt that a day like today would’ve easily been a day full of junk – likely 3 fast food stops – but it just wasn’t. I ate breakfast at home (well, in the car), packed my lunch and waited until I got home to eat a decent dinner. The food issue has been an uphill climb, but it’s slowly but surely getting easier. One more chance to give in not taken today = one more step closer to beating this maddening battle.

I started the Couch-to-5k running plan yesterday and didn’t die, so I think I’m going to stick with it this time. I’ve previously contemplated it, but I was so out of shape that it was absolutely miserable the first time around and just never got around to it the most recent time. The 60 seconds of jogging/90 seconds of walking alternation was very easy this time, which was encouraging, of course, so I added a 5k in April to my list of 2009 goals. (In pencil. Can’t get too excited.)

I did 20 minutes on the stairmaster after the C25K jog/walk and then went to a Triple Threat class (step, kickboxing, weights) with a friend at her gym last night, where I learned that kickboxing is harder than calculus. Seriously. I just couldn’t do it. It wasn’t a physical endurance problem, it was simply a matter of not being able to punch (jab?) the correct arm and kick the correct leg and move in the correct direction. I had fun, but I started to worry that I’d hurt someone.

I meet with the trainer tomorrow and I CAN NOT WAIT. Am I becoming addicted?