I have been in one hell of a cranky mood the past couple of days. I’ve missed my routine, yet I’ve been dreading it all, too. I’m doing my best to ignore the fact that classes start this week.

I worked out on Friday with a friend who brought me along to her gym, but I didn’t really push it since I hadn’t done any cardio in two weeks and didn’t want to puke in someone else’s gym. I did about an hour: 20 min treadmill, 15 min elliptical and about 25 min bike.

Jon and I went to our regular gym on Saturday, but I wasn’t really into it. I wanted to be there until I got there and had to do something. My ipod was dead, which I learned as I stepped on the stairmaster, of course. I stood there pushing on it thinking it would miraculously turn on, I guess, and actually waffled between wanting to cry and wanting to go home. I was just pissed and unmotivated. I ended up doing 20 min on the stairmaster, about 10 min on the bike and 5 on the elliptical before I quit. I did a few sets on the machines, but I was just sitting by the time Jon finished.

I met with the trainer this morning for the first time in 2.5 weeks and seriously thought I might die. Good God. Even I got tired of my whining.

She weighed me, which I was actually happy about. She records my weight sporadically vs. every week (or every day as I’ve been known to do during my crazier times), so there is typically less fluctuation. I am down 0.4 since the last time she weighed (mid-December). That normally would’ve put me in a pretty bad mood, but I have not counted a damn thing or even really tried to monitor my food throughout the holidays/since that weigh-in. I ate a dessert of some kind EVERY SINGLE DAY while we were in NYC. (uhh … yeah … that no sugar thing was declared during a moment of intense craziness.)

So, two things could come from this: (a) I could be happy that I’ve obviously changed my eating habits enough that even my splurges are reasonable and no longer equal massive gains -OR- (b) I could continue with those splurges and rationalize them since I will at least lose something and weight loss is a slow process, right?

I guess we’ll see what happens.