Today has been a bad day. I woke up from a deep sleep around 3am and immediately thought I was about to die right there in my bed. My stomach was hurting so horribly I could hardly stand it. I wasn’t nauseous, but felt pure pain. It kind of felt like my stomach and back were in the midst of the worst spasm of my life. It got better and I eventually fell back asleep for a while. I woke up at 4, though, with the same thing happening … only worse. J wanted to go to the hospital right then, but I didn’t relent until I was crawling around on the bed, sweating with chills, and feeling as if I might pass out from the pain. There’s not much that I dislike more than a hospital ER.

I don’t know what’s wrong. The Dr. I saw thinks it’s an ulcer and advised me to go to the GI Dr. I told her I was supposed to see last month (have had other issues). I am extremely reluctant to do that, though, because I know what will be involved in determining if I have an ulcer and I’m not willing to go there. I think I will take the meds she prescribed and hope it heals. I’ve never heard of an ulcer causing the type of issues I had during the night, but apparently it happens.

I have always been reluctant to take medication of any kind and have to be in pretty severe pain to take even over-the-counter stuff. Consuming or having foreign substances injected into my body makes me feel out-of-control, or as if there is potential that I will lose control (allergic reaction, drugged feeling, sleepy, etc). Needless to say, I completely freaked at the IV meds and later had to really focus to not panic at having dye flow through my veins for the CT scan. I very much felt poked and prodded and out-of-control and did not like it one bit. Guess I won’t be getting those new boobs after all. I don’t think I’d be able to handle the drugs/anesthesia.

If you think that’s the only craziness involved … well, you just don’t know me. GERMS. I have a cut on my finger and am still a little freaked at the thought that I had to touch a few things at that hospital. I can NOT believe that I forgot to put a band-aid on (although I doubt that it would’ve mattered much).

J is a saint.

The meds made me feel much better and I left the hospital feeling just about fine. I slept until almost 2pm, though, and have felt kind of crappy since waking up. I definitely feel better than I felt this morning, but my stomach is still not happy.


10am: Raisin Bran, Coffee
2pm: (Panera Bread) Broccoli & Cheese Soup, Bread
5pm: Apple Cider
7pm: Roasted Chicken, Steamed Squash, Steamed Asparagus, Approx 6oz Coke (which was a HUGE mistake. think i am an idiot)