I am wanting sugar so badly right now it’s just insane. I tried talking J into making cinnamon rolls, but he won’t. I’m very deprived.

The past few days have been bad, food-wise and stress-wise. I didn’t want to weigh this morning, and thought about putting it off until tomorrow since I’m pretty sure the “gain” is temporary, but I did it. The challenge is self-imposed, but I might as well quit if I’m going to give in and bend the rules on the second week. Next week will be better.

I went to a Mexican place last night and ate a ton. I ate so much, in fact, that I found myself sitting on the bathroom floor at midnight praying that I’d just throw up and get it over with. The meal was a mistake, and it was a mistake that I chose to make because I’ve been so stressed. I wanted a beer and I wanted lots of chips. I wanted the escape that going out and eating gives me. I definitely chose to let food improve my mood. I’ve worked really hard to stop this cycle, but large amounts of stress combined with PMS lead to bad, bad things.

I actually don’t know what the deal is with my stomach, but I’ve been getting sick every time I eat anything even remotely greasy or overly fattening. I think my body is revolting. It just doesn’t want the crap I’ve been eating. I ate at a Mexican place on Saturday and just had fish tacos, a few chips and water – felt fine. I went yesterday and had enchiladas (shrimp & crab), lots of chips w/lots of salsa & cheese dip, rice, beans, beer – sick.

1.5 hours @ gym (1 hr w/trainer, 30 min alone)
Breakfast: 3/4 cup Special K, 1/2 cup Milk (3)
Lunch: LC Sesame Chicken, Slice of Pepperjack Cheese, 5 Prunes (10)
Dinner: Wheat Bun, Slice of Pepperjack Cheese, Tilapia Fillet, Sauteed Kale, Squash & Zucchini (9)
Various Snacks: Gatorade, Banana, Babybel Cheese (5)
I ate way too much cheese today. I had a hard time at the gym and felt very sluggish. Likely because of the horrible dinner yesterday and possibly because I slept too much. 8pm-6:30am? Too much, even if it was interrupted with sickness.

1 hour w/trainer
Breakfast: 3/4 cup Special K, 1/2 cup Milk
Lunch: 2 Slices Wheat Bread, Mayo, Tomato, Lettuce, Ham, Slice of Pepperjack Cheese
Dinner: (Mexican) 2 Enchiladas (shrimp & crab), Rice, Beans, Chips, Salsa, Cheese Dip, Beer
Various Snacks: Sesame Crackers, Babybel Cheese
I fell asleep on the couch around 8 last night and went to bed at 8:30. The dinner just about killed me. So stupid.

Day Before Yesterday
1 hour @ gym (alone)
Breakfast: 3/4 cup Special K, 1/2 cup Milk
Lunch: WW Enchiladas, Salad w/Italian Dressing
Dinner: Chicken Breast, Asparagus, 1/2 Sweet Potato w/1 T Brummel & Brown
Various Snacks: Sesame Crackers, Babybel Cheese, Mixed Nuts, Slice of Pepperjack Cheese