I finally got around to updating our August budget this afternoon. Turns out we spent an appalling amount of money at restaurants over the course of the month. Some of it can be attributed to the amount of time we spent out of town, but there’s really no excuse for spending FOUR times more on restaurants than groceries.

I’ve been very lazy about journaling my food. I haven’t counted points or calories in several weeks. I’ve tried to rationalize it and I even attempted to convince myself that it’s a good idea to wean myself off of counting everything so that I can learn to eat appropriately without guidelines. I’ve just lost some motivation, though.

The good news is I haven’t gained any weight. The surprising news is I’ve actually lost weight. I haven’t lost motivation to exercise (sometimes because I have standing appointments with a trainer that I can’t bail on) and it looks like some of the habits that I’ve been working on creating have been effective. My portions have become smaller, my choices have become healthier, etc. I have no doubt that I will be able to maintain my weight loss. Looks like I’m going to struggle to keep losing, though.

I almost think that motivation isn’t the only problem. I think that maybe I’m a little scared of stepping into unknown territory. I will be in a weight range that I haven’t been anywhere near in a really long time if I am successful with the 24 pound challenge I created for myself. It seems crazy to think that I could be resistant to changing something that I want more than anything to change. It’s just a big change … hopefully with bigger changes coming.

I have a ton of stuff going on at the moment, but not so much that I can’t write down what I eat. I just refuse to fail because of created excuses. I’m going to attempt to post my daily food/exercise/thoughts here for a month to get myself back on track.

Today:
Hour w/trainer
Breakfast: Banana & Coffee, Gatorade
Lunch: (Firehouse Subs) Medium Steak & Cheese on Wheat & Water
Snack: 3 WW Candy & Hardboiled Egg
Dinner: (Indian) Rice, Garlic Naan, Vegetable Samosa, Palek Paneer (spinach & cheese)
I should have eaten a better breakfast, but I had a very early appointment to work out and have a tendency to feel sick if I eat too much prior and usually don’t want to eat at all afterwards. I use one scoop of Gatorade powder in a 32oz water bottle versus the 2 (or 3?) recommended, so I don’t get many calories from that. Lunch surprised me – I had no desire to get the chips or brownie that could’ve accompanied my sandwich. I just wanted the sandwich and water. I probably could’ve picked a better sandwich, but I’m happy with my choice. Dinner? Ate way too much. It was very, very good, though, and reminded me why I choose to limit my portions versus limit what I eat. I love food way too much to impose harsh restrictions.
Overall – Not what I’d consider a good day. Way too few vegetables.

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