I am extremely frustrated today and am having to convince myself that I will continue to lose weight, that I’m not destined to be fat forever, that I am having a minor setback and that the world is not ending.

I have concluded that I just can’t base my caloric intake on the numbers calculated for my body weight and activity level. I can easily maintain, but I can’t lose even if I stay within the losing range of calories. I have been tracking calories and WW points and have found that while I feel like I’m starving when eating the amount of WW points calculated, it’s the only method that works.

I am beginning to believe it’s the consistency. I might vary the calories between 200-300 per day given that I try to eat within a general range, but with WW I eat a strict number of points, which keeps the calories very consistent. This is the second time I’ve slacked on points and tried to rely just on calorie counting and it’s the second time I’ve had a complete weight loss stall.

I’m not even going to try to pretend that it’s just the method of keeping track of my food intake that’s causing problems. I’ve been eating a lot of junk the past few days. Tuesday was Mexican food that included cheese dip and a ton of chips, Wednesday was a 10pm trip to an ice cream place, etc. I’ve relaxed my standards, which is exactly what happened the last time I stopped counting points.  I’ve learned my lesson.

My frustration today stems from feeling like I’m going to be a slave to points and calories and food journals for the rest of my damn life. I’m just sick of it. I’m not so sick of it that I’m ready to quit, I’m just sick of having to think about this stuff. I’m sick of not being able to have ice cream without stress. I wondered that night, as I watched the other people with their ice cream and brownies and milkshakes, if they were silently evaluating their food choices for the day, their calories, their exercise and thinking about how it all fits together.

(This frustration also obviously means that I haven’t broken the weighing habit.)

Advertisements