Another fabulous day.

We got up this morning – later than planned – and ate breakfast (same as the previous 2 days) very quickly before we checked out of our hotel in Munich and drove a couple of hours to see the “King’s Castles” – “Mad” King Ludwig’s Hohenschwangau (his childhood home) and Neuschwanstein (which Rick Steves says inspired Walt Disney). The drive was beautiful.

The castles are apparently one of the most touristy sites in Bavaria, and I believe it. It wasn’t overly crowded today, but I was surprised at the volume of people given how cold it is.

The map said we’d have a 20-minute walk to Hohenschwangau from the ticket area. It was definitely a slippery walk, but I don’t think it took quite that long. We toured it (unheated, of course) and then headed to Neuschwanstein, a 45-minute walk – according to the map. The cold really wasn’t too bad since the walk was mostly uphill and got my heart rate up a little (and since I was wearing long johns under my jeans, 2 pairs of socks, a long johns shirt, a sweater, a fleece jacket AND a coat, a scarf and gloves– my standard each day we’ve been here), but I wasn’t exactly excited about it when I saw that it would take 45 minutes, either. The shorter route (30 minutes) had several feet of snow piled up on it – no way. We were coming up on several hours of no heat at this point.

We stopped about halfway up and had a bratwurst from a little stand for lunch.

We started to slip and slide our way back down to our car after we toured the castle, but decided at the last minute to take a carriage down. It was no less scary – for me – because I saw one of the horses slip at one point, and I think it was actually colder because we weren’t moving ourselves – but it was fun/faster. (I have issues with this sort of thing, though, because it seems mean/harmful to the horses. I don’t know? I’m conflicted.)

After we finished at the castles, we drove to our hotel in Reutte, Austria. The hotel has a bar/café, so we sat and had a beer (Jon) and coffee (me) and got dinner recommendations.

We walked to dinner – about 10 slippery/dark minutes away – and had our first real meal for the day at a place the hotel owner described as “traditional Austrian” – Romantik Krone.

It was absolutely fantastic! Based on the recommendation of the waitress, I had a steak with a cognac sauce (something I have never ordered/eaten because I typically lean toward chicken/turkey/pork) and mixed vegetables – also came with fried potatoes filled with cheese and chives. Also based on her recommendation, Jon had lamb, spinach and noodles. The place was very cozy and everyone was exceptionally friendly and helpful and willing to help us since the menu was only German.

We reek of smoke, though. EVERYONE smokes, it seems. There was just one family in the non-smoking room with us in the restaurant tonight – and the staff kept shutting the door to our room – but it was still smoky enough that my eyes started to burn a little.

We stopped at the hotel café on the way to our room after walking back from dinner and split a cheese strudel. Jon had a glass of an Austrian wine. I had coffee again.

Up tomorrow – about a 4-hour drive to the small town in the Black Forest where Jon’s company is located. Jon will be working for the next few days (the primary reason we’re here) and I’ll be doing something? Not sure yet.

I feel like I’m always saying I’ve had a fabulous day – but seriously – I have good days.

We went to Salzburg (Austria) today – about an hour and a half from Munich – after breakfast (which was identical to yesterday’s breakfast because we’re at the same hotel). We almost didn’t go, but I’m SO glad we did.

It was snowy and cold, but not nearly as dreary as the pictures depict. We didn’t really have a plan – had thought about taking a tour, but decided to just wing it – so we wandered around the old town and read our travel book.

At one point, an older man approached us and asked if we needed help. I knew almost immediately that he had to be a teacher of some sort, and I was right. He told us he retired from teaching (in California) 27 years ago and moved to Salzburg with his wife (a Salzburger) and daughter. He ended up giving us a mini-history of the area and gave us lots of information about what to see, where to go, etc. He was incredibly friendly and so interested in sharing the history of the area that it was almost better than a tour.

We ended up walking up to Hohensalzburg, the fortress overlooking the city, based on his recommendation. Yes, all the way to the TOP.

The walk was uphill most of the way, of course, but the views were worth it. I’m still amazed that I’m even capable of doing something as strenuous as the walking it required. (The funicular/inclined railway was closed). This is why I lost weight. This is what makes every minute of torture/exercise worth it.

The little dots are kids sledding.

Afterward, we wandered some more – and I took more pictures of the fortress in amazement that I’d made it up there, and in amazement that it was actually pretty easy.

Lunch started with salmon ravioli – then we split beef goulash with a bread dumpling, 1/2 of a fried chicken with fries, and the first green thing we’ve eaten since we arrived (minus a few cucumber slices at breakfast). Also – tea, for me. It was a very civilized place compared to the beer halls we’ve been frequenting – very nice change of pace.

We stopped at a sausage place on the way to our car since it was close to dinnertime and got … something … so we wouldn’t starve on the drive back to Munich. No idea what it’s called or what kind of sausage, etc. We just ate what the woman at the stall gave us. Sausage + onions + mustard + toasted bun + maybe cayenne on top? SO GOOD.

We ate dinner once we made it back to Munich at a small Italian place near our hotel – split some pasta and a salad – and I wound up with a drink called Bitter Lemon after some communication issues. Never heard of it before, but now I’m going to have to hunt it down at home.

We’re leaving Munich tomorrow and heading to see some castles. We’ll be staying overnight in a small town in Austria. I’m excited, but sort of sad to leave Munich. I’ve really enjoyed it here.

Busy day.

We had breakfast at our hotel before heading to Dachau.

Mine.

Jon’s (minus the sugar that happened to be on the table).

We went to Dachau to tour the Concentration Camp Memorial Site. We spent right at 4 hours touring the museum and grounds (with the help of an audio guide). I really have no words. Very powerful. I took pictures, but not many – felt disrespectful.

Afterward, we spent a little bit of time walking around the Dachau city center. We hadn’t had lunch since we spent so much time at the memorial site, so we stopped in a small store looking for a snack. I had no idea what this thing was – and didn’t intend to buy anything sweet – but couldn’t resist when I saw this ball of something covered with chocolate at the bakery. We couldn’t communicate with the woman at the counter, so I have no idea. It was marshmallowish, but different.

Jon got something that seemed like it was pecans, honey and ???? Very good.

We headed back to Munich because we’d planned dinner at Hofbraeuhaus. The crowd + the noise + the music + the seat yourself with other people aspect = stress for me at first. It turned out well, though. The people we sat with spoke German only – and we don’t beyond Jon being able to order food/greet people/understand some things – so we couldn’t communicate, but it was fine. It was a lot of fun – definitely worth it.

We ordered some sort of onion soup, turkey with noodles and roast pork with dumplings – and split it all.

We walked around the Marienplatz after dinner – in the snow – before walking back to our hotel. I think it has snowed almost continuously since we arrived. Amazingly enough, I don’t hate it when I’m in a city that doesn’t shut down/handles it. It’s cold, but it’s manageable – except when I can’t see because of the pelting snow.

Now? I’m uploading pictures and going to bed. Have been on my feet – and cold – all day.

Up tomorrow – Salzburg, Austria.

Well, we made it from NY to ATL (to drop Henry (the dog) off with his grandma) to Germany. I’ve been exhausted, but I’m feeling great this morning since I finally slept more than 3 hours in a row in a bed last night.

We arrived in Stuttgart yesterday morning after flying all night. I felt great when we got here, but needed COFFEE since the coffee on the flight was not quite what I wanted. We had a 2 hour drive to make to Munich, so guess where we stopped? Yeah. Never imagined this to be my first stop, either.

We have the cutest little car – our luggage barely fit and it’s manual, which I can’t really drive, but it’s perfect.

Lots of snow.

We made it to our hotel and they let us check in early. We thought about sleeping for a while, but decided not to since we were exhausted and were afraid we’d sleep all day and then be up all night, etc. I REALLY wanted to at least sit on the bed, but no.

We headed out to find some lunch – and beer, for Jon – forgot my camera. We ended up walking to a place the hotel recommended and had sausages and cheese. I think I might’ve been a little delirious at this point, but it was fun.

We went back to the hotel after lunch and finally took showers and I took a nap for about an hour while Jon did some work and checked email, etc.

He woke me up so we could go on a beer & food tour that we’d read about a few weeks earlier. I was grumpy as hell. Did NOT want to go – tried to talk him out of it. It was only 4pm, though, and I knew I needed to get up so I’d sleep later – so I went – and had a fabulous time.

We split a butter pretzel at the train station while we killed time before the tour.

The tour started with a beer and a brief history of beer production in Munich. We toured a beer museum. We sampled different types of beer at a beer hall. We learned all about the 6 breweries in Munich. We learned all about OktoberFest. We did a lot of walking in the snow.

We ate some food – it was all explained to us, but I can’t remember. Lack of sleep + lots of sips of beer that I don’t generally consume = a blur.

We had a really great time. Lots of talking and socializing, drinking and eating. I highly recommend the tour.

Finally, we slept.

Up today – Dachau.

We’ve had a fabulous weekend in NYC.

Jon’s up here – technically – for some work stuff, so I tagged along and we’ve spent the weekend doing a whole lot of nothing.

I’m trying not to go crazy with the eating … and have tried to incorporate some exercise. I think I’ve been somewhat successful.

It’s hard. I will NEVER view food simply as fuel. I love everything about it. I think I’ve come to terms with the fact that I can’t eat whatever I want, whenever I want it … but I’m just never going to be able to swing so far that I’ll pass up a chance to eat a fabulous cupcake.

We were still at a hotel in New Jersey yesterday morning, so we ate on the way out. Yogurt, oatmeal and a piece of ham, for me. I had a moment of guilt and thought about all of the sugar I was consuming – and the crap I know I consumed from that ham, but … eh. It was this or nothing.

We were very close to NYC, so we made it here quickly and checked in early. And look! Jon’s eating CARBS! I caught him.

Breakfast #2:

We walked what seemed like 40 miles before stopping for lunch at a small place – can’t remember where or what. We split a peppercorn squid appetizer and split a thai basil chicken (with brown rice) entree.

Then … we passed a Crumbs. Had to go in.

I chose the cupcake of the month – Elvis (Vanilla cake filled & frosted with banana cream cheese frosting, topped with a swirl of real creamy peanut butter and edged with peanut butter chips.) Best. Cupcake. EVER.

We went to the park and sat and ate (about half because damn was it rich) and watched people.

Jon got a brownie that’s still sitting in our hotel room a day later, which – in my life – translates to Not So Good.

Yes, I fully realize I will happily spend over $10 on cupcakes/brownies but (!!) over $15 skin stuff. I have priorities.

I wanted Mexican food for dinner, but I didn’t want to get dressed up, didn’t want to wait in line, didn’t really want to deal with noise and people … so I looked around on yelp until I found a place someone described as a “great little dump” and we headed there.

I am still paranoid about taking pictures … and this place was TINY, so I didn’t take any. I tried to take one with my phone, but the flash went off and I panicked and just quit. I don’t know why I have issues with this, but I do.

This morning, I required a bagel … so we went to Ess-a-Bagel for breakfast. I had an everything with cream cheese. Jon had egg and corned beef on an everything. We split a spinach knish (I had maybe one bite – the bagel/carbs fill me up quickly).

Shortly afterward, we changed and then walked 11 or 12 blocks to Central Park to do my day of C25K stuff. It was cold and started to rain a little, but it was fun.

This is pretty much what I see each time we do this – Jon’s back, with small spurts of “come on” and “it gets better” interspersed here and there.

There was a race of some sort going on, so there were hundreds of people out running. Here they are at mile TWELVE as I was dying just 3 minutes in.

I hope this gets better. Right now? Not loving it. I’m committed, but damn.

We took advantage of the hotel gym when we got back. Jon had me do some stuff he learned at crossfit. I don’t know what, but it was some sort of squatting and lifting that I’m too lazy to look up. I started with 35 pounds, moved up to 45, and could lift 55 just once with any kind of (relative) ease.

After THAT, we went to lunch at a place near our hotel – Bombay Bistro. Best meal and service we’ve had this weekend, for sure. We split the Calcutta Kathi Rolls appetizer (chicken tikka in egg coated roti) and split the chicken zaffrani entree (chicken & saffron sauce) … and had the rosemary naan. AND our waiter brought us a complimentary dish of rice pudding that I didn’t take a picture of because he was nearby the entire time and – as I’ve said – I’m weird.

Phone picture:

Marginally better ones when nobody was around:

We’re having something delivered tonight.

I don’t want to go home.

I woke up this morning from a dream that was strange, yet so … I don’t know … indicative of where my mind is right now, maybe?

I was at a buffet type restaurant – something I haven’t been to in ages – with Jon. We sat and waited forever for the waiter to come, but ended up getting food before the person came. The restaurant was loud and dirty and crazy and Jon was agitated because it wasn’t a pleasant place to be. The important part – the only food I sought and saw happened to be brownies, cake, cupcakes, pudding (?) and other sugary desserts that I’ve never seen before – and I was filled with GLEE. I completely filled my plate with that stuff and was ecstatic about it, but I woke up before I ate any of it.

Who the hell DREAMS about SUGAR? I have issues.
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I still haven’t figured out an actual strength/weight training schedule yet, but I’m feeling ok with what I’m doing – for now.

Last week I did the C25K jog/walk thing the 3 recommended times, went to pilates twice and did the 30 Day Shred dvd a couple times.

This week – on Tuesday – I did 30 minutes of walking and talking (treadmill – 4.0, incline 2.0) with the friend who invites me to her gym, a 25 minute ab class after that at the same gym, then immediately went and did my regular pilates class elsewhere and THEN jogged/walked for the C25K training. (Yeah, maybe too much back-to-back, but I felt great – and knew I wouldn’t be able to do anything on Wednesday – so why not?)

Tonight, I went to my regular pilates class and then the C25K thing afterward.

Pilates requires push ups and planks and all that, so it’s on the right track strength-wise … it’s just not going to fully cut it.

The 30 Day Shred dvd is great, but I have almost no motivation to do it once I’m home – I’m pretty deeply trained to exercise elsewhere at this point.

I am NOT a fan of the machines at my gym.
Reason #1) I don’t know how to use them.
Reason #2) I am definitely a fan of functional training.
Reason #3) My gym is a university gym, so it would be me and 500 frat boys (which is a little intimidating d/t reason #1).
Reason #4) I don’t like the way they make me hurt. It’s different somehow.

I would love to have a cable machine – and will likely invest in one in the future when I have space to accommodate it. I could use one at the gym, I guess, but reasons #1 and 3 above pretty thoroughly prevent that since the cable machines at the gym are nothing like the one the trainer has (that I’ve used).

I’m thinking kettlebells … except I’m pretty sure I’m going to run into the home exercise aversion problem.

So … I have no idea. Still working on it. For now – pilates, jogging, 30 Day Shred, classes here and there at a gym as I’m invited and MAYBE some kettlebell stuff.
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I’m supposed to be on week 4 of the C25K, but I’m repeating week 3 – 2 sets of 90 seconds of jogging, 90 seconds of walking, 3 minutes jogging, 3 minutes walking.

The reason I’m repeating: The last 3 minutes of jogging were hard last week and I knew I’d be moving up from jogging 9 minutes to 16 minutes – ALONE, since Jon has been out of town all week. It felt intimidating. I didn’t think I’d have the motivation to do it alone. I was all cocky at first thinking I could skip ahead a few weeks since week 1 was easy. NO FUCKING WAY. This is kicking my butt.
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I made a couple of healthy-body resolutions this year that I’ve stuck to – SO FAR.

#1 = supplements. I’ve been taking iron and Vit D each night and I’m pretty amazed at how great I’m feeling. I skipped both for a few days and felt it. Might be placebo – don’t care. I feel great.

#2 = skin care. I’m white as a ghost, redheaded, green-eyed and allergic to sunscreen, so I almost expect skin (cancer) issues of some kind. So … I went to a dermatologist for a check-up. Primary reason – to make sure I’m not dying. Secondary reason – to make sure I won’t die from the utter lack of time and effort I put into my face.

Good news – I will not die if I wash my face with Dial in the shower every morning, if my face is bare every day because I never wear makeup on it OR if I put cheap lotion on my hands and then happen to wipe the excess on the dry parts of my face.

The first time my mom saw me put excess hand lotion on my face she acted as if I was actively wiping acid across my cheeks. Turns out it’s perfectly fine.

I did, however, spend $15 (!!) on “moisturizing lotion” today that will supposedly be better than the cheap stuff I’ve been using. AND, I’ve switched to Dove since Dial is apparently the devil. We’ll see.
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I’ve been stressed this week trying to get things done and get due dates met early and all that because we’re going to be traveling for the next couple of weeks. My next C25K jog will (hopefully, weather permitting) be happening in Central Park!

Here’s the issue Jon has with WW: he thinks it means all processed crap, all the time.

I fully admit that’s the way I did it in the beginning. I ate a lot of frozen packaged stuff and resorted mostly to food products with labels I could use to count points. And as I said a few days ago, I have a history of eating at fast food places and losing weight – I understand where he’s coming from.

He hears WW and thinks frozen meals and women in meetings who bake cakes with diet coke. My trainer expressed the same fears when I began with her. For most of the people she’d encountered who used WW as a weight loss method – and admittedly, for ALL I encountered in meetings – a point is a point (or, a calorie is a calorie). Want to eat a pint of ice cream for dinner? Go right ahead – as long as you count the points.

I agree with the premise that deprivation is a bad thing, but I’ve also seen how EASILY that’s manipulated. That, of course, leads to nothing good. Done PROPERLY – with HEALTH in mind – WW can be a good thing.

WW – for me – means portion control, a little less fat and a loosening of the carb situation.

Almost all carbs I eat come from fruit, yogurt and vegetables. I can see that increasing – and I’m probably going to add rice, popcorn (instead of nuts) and more potatoes. Also? I’m going to have to go back to leaner meats, more fish. I won’t fry my eggs in (much) butter. I might go back to low-fat yogurt vs. whole milk. Etc.

I am not planning any other changes. I’m not going back to margarine – I’m just planning to use LESS butter. I’m not going back to bagels for breakfast every day – I’m just planning to be ok with that once in a while. I’m not going back to frozen packaged lunches … and I most definitely won’t be eating cakes made with diet effin’ coke.

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We were standing at a counter on Saturday at a market we go to, waiting for the cashier to show up. I happened to be holding a huge hunk of butter – and it just so happened that the cashier and a customer must’ve been having a conversation about what to fry crab cakes in just prior to walking to the counter. The cashier saw the butter and immediately told the woman that THAT is what she should be using. The woman looked at it and looked at me and made this noise like that’s the craziest thing she’d ever heard. The woman: “I think I’ll stick with PAM.”

I have no idea what’s in Pam. It might be fabulous. I know that THAT mentality is NOT what I’m going back to, though.

Well, I was 191.5 when I weighed this morning. A week of counting points, feeling like I’m starving most of the time, not eating in restaurants at all, exercising every single day AND (mostly) restricting carbs has netted me a whole HALF POUND loss. Nice, huh?

I’m really feeling like I’m at a loss. I know I’m not flawless with my diet, but this is ridiculous. I just can’t seem to break out of the 188 – 192 weight range. I’ve been here FOREVER. I’m here if I spend the week focusing on food/exercise, I’m here if I spend the week eating in restaurants and barely exercising. I JUST CAN’T WIN.

Jon and I have had several “debates” lately about food and how we choose to eat, etc. He is all about no/low carbs, high protein, fat, etc. and thinks it’s crazy that I’m feeling like wholeheartedly going back to WW … which means restricting my fat intake, and realistically, for me, adding more carbs (mostly in the form of rice and whole wheat pasta).

His argument – a bunch of scientific stuff I haven’t taken the time to read.
My argument – I DO NOT lose weight when eating his way. I maintain wonderfully, I feel great, I think he’s probably right … for the most part. It’s fabulous and I know (assume, based on anecdotal evidence) people lose weight eating this way and all that. I have PHYSICAL EVIDENCE that it doesn’t work for me for weight loss, though. I have 80 pounds of PHYSICAL EVIDENCE that WW and restricted fat intake works for my body.

He thinks I should eat something like zero carbs a day and that it’s my fault I’m not losing weight because I’m probably eating 100 – 150g carbs per day. I think he’s wrong. So … we’re having a contest. If his weight drops below 180 and stays there consistently for at least 3 weeks after eating the fat and severely restricting the carbs, then I’ll do it his way. If I get there first, he has to SHUT UP about WW.

The upside – I am SO going to win. The downside – I’m going to have to cook for myself or at least put some effort into dinner each night since he cooks with butter and is pretty fast and loose with the oil.

This all seems very obsessive, doesn’t it? It’s fun for us, though. A hobby. Someone asked a group I was in yesterday what we do for self-care – to protect from (professional) burn-out and misery and all that since we see/hear/are confronted with/deal with really horrible/sad/distressing things. The first thing that popped into my mind was this blog, exercise and nutrition. I spend WAY more time thinking about work and school and life than I do about how many carbs I’m ingesting or if I’m exercising enough or whatever. But – I’m glad I have this. I’m glad I take the time to think about these things and to write about it and obsess a little each day. Beats the shit out of the flip-side of my self-care strategy, which is big macs and 272 pounds.

Ok, this jogging situation SUCKS.

Reason #1) I have never run IN MY LIFE. People don’t run when they’re 100 pounds overweight. No surprise, huh? The trainer would make me jog but never for whole MINUTES at a time, over and over. I’ve tried the C25K thing before, too, but I’ve never kept it up this long. Now I remember why.

Reason #2) I can do most cardioish things – including the godawful stair thing – with relative ease and without feeling like I’m DYING. I thought I was having a heart attack Monday night. And last night? No better.

Reason #3) I hate running on the indoor track at my gym. I’m having to go at night and it has been ridiculously packed each time. Having to watch out for people and go around people and just generally deal with people when I’m feeling like I’m dying is NOT enjoyable. I will be jogging up and down my driveway if the sidewalks in my neighborhood aren’t free of snow by tomorrow night.

Reason #4) I hate being bad at things/not being able to do things. This is requiring some motivation and effort I didn’t realize it would require. The problem is, I’m pissed it’s taking such motivation and effort to jog for 9 fucking minutes – not even consecutively!

I’m not going to let this beat me. At this point, stopping would just be quitting because it’s hard/uncomfortable. It would be failure.

I KNOW it will get better. I just get discouraged when I watch these people – including JON, who has the nerve to be all smiley and sweet even when I’m telling him to shut the hell up already about 30 MORE SECONDS – run around the track with ease.

I have no patience – that’s the real problem. I feel like I should just be able to do this … and I can’t.

Well, that’s not really fair. I CAN do it. It’s just hard. And I want it to be easy.

I’m thinking that’s not going to happen anytime soon.

In an effort to manage this plateau I’m on (otherwise known as Good Excuse For I Eat Too Damn Much Junk), I got out all of my WW stuff and took a trip down memory lane.

I’ve been doing this weight loss thing for a long time.

I have no idea how many times I’ve actually joined, but the first record I have is from 2001. I was a resolutioner! I am pretty sure this isn’t the first time I joined.

I very vividly remember the first time I joined. It was during the summer – likely 1999 or 2000. I was told by my gyn that I needed to lose weight – and that WW was the best place to start. I’m not sure I even knew what WW was, but I know that I cried the whole way home – not because I needed to lose weight, I knew that – because I had no idea HOW.

That resolution joining I did in January 01 at 223 that lasted all of one week? Turned into 242 by September 01. 20 pounds in 8 months.

I stayed in the 240′s for a while – at least several years. Not sure when this joining happened since the year is smudged, but my guess is 2003ish.

I made it down to 216, which I’m pretty confident is the lowest I’ve been until now.

And then …. 263 in 2005.

By 2008 I was at 272 -and likely higher at times in between.

The food journals tell the story.

I was 21, living on my own, working full time, still in school (somewhat) and POOR. This is what I ate – and I lost weight doing it.

My trainer told me – the first time I met with her in 2008 – that she wanted me to stop WW thinking and transition to healthier eating/basic tracking of eating. I was pretty shocked since I’d been doing WW off and on for so long and had had success (not lasting success, but what I considered success at the time, anyway), but THIS IS WHY. I lost weight eating this way for YEARS … and would then regain it when my portions started creeping back up. And would then rejoin. And would then lose weight eating this way. Etc.

I think it goes without saying that I’ve spent most of my 20′s abusing the shit out of my body. Not only was I eating crap, not exercising in any way, and yo-yoing all over the place – despite having the tools and knowledge (WW) to stop – but I was smoking at least a pack a day. (Don’t know how I afforded it, but I think any smoker will attest to the fact that you just MAKE IT WORK. I quit in 2004ish and am now all crazy about it/can smell it a mile away/makes me sick.)

I don’t think I ever wanted to be healthy. I wanted to be thin. BIG difference.

I found this amongst all the books and points finders:

I can’t believe even my 21 year old self accepted this kind of bullshit. I WANTED to be thin. I didn’t have the willpower to do it the right way.

I’m going to be 30 this year. I want this decade to be better. I’m not stupid – I have proof that failing is a definite possibility. I have a little bit more willpower, though. Maybe it’s a combination that will work?

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I’m feeling a little cranky today – and ready to guzzle a bag of sugar, but whatever. I did this to myself.

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SO …. the 30 Day Shred. I was somewhat unfairly flippant about it the other day.

My issue with it = I’m spoiled by having had a trainer for so long. I am used to quite a bit of variation and the constant addition of new things to my sessions, etc. Also? I’m used to hour long sessions, so 20 minutes feels like cheating to me – but that’s a mind thing.

I am planning to utilize the 30 Day Shred – did it again yesterday, in fact – but I’m definitely planning to create more variation somehow.

Honestly – I would continue with the trainer forever if I won the lottery or somehow otherwise had a pile of money. A dvd just isn’t the same. That’s my problem. I’m sure I’ll get over it.

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I’m trucking along with the C25K thing. This week: jog 90 seconds, walk 90 seconds, jog 3 minutes, walk 3 minutes, repeat. Looks like I’ll be doing it at the gym again tonight. The sidewalks are marginally better since I took this picture yesterday afternoon, but I’m not expecting much improvement unless the temp rises above freezing today.

This is just ridiculous. I’m sure I’ve mentioned I HATE THIS.