I’ve known … forever … that allowing myself to weigh 272 pounds had more to do with some jacked up thinking than simply eating too much junk and not exercising. Life’s just not that simple. It took a while, though, for me to realize that what I’ve done over the past year is somewhat retrain myself – my way of thinking.
I knew when I left work today that I didn’t have anything decent to eat at home – I knew I was tired – I knew I didn’t feel like dealing with cooking and cleaning and all that. I briefly thought about stopping at Panera for a salad, but felt that might be a cop out. I drove down the restaurant row near my house and smelled really good stuff, but had zero desire to stop. I made it to the grocery store and walked past the (conveniently placed) bakery stuff … feeling kind of fine about passing it all up. THEN, I stood in that store feeling hungry, tired and cranky and read all the damn labels on the yogurt and cheese I bought. THEN, I came home and cooked and was happy about it.
It dawned on me as I was eating that I had some pretty healthy thoughts throughout the whole process. NEVER did I think: “I’m tired, I deserve (whatever).” or “I’m too hungry to cook.” or “Wendy’s is cheaper.” or “GOD, it’s ONE meal.” or “I’m sick of this.” or “I’ll just drink a lot of water tomorrow/eat fewer calories/etc.”
I think I went and trained myself and didn’t even realize it.
I just did a very small amount of research on cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) use re: weight loss and found that I’m not the first genius to think it could be applicable. There are whole weight loss books and programs and institutes to go to that utilize CBT … apparently I’m WAY behind. Story of my life.
Had to work today and had zero time this morning for eggs, so I grabbed some natural PB to get at least a little protein. Not sure why I’m gravitating toward PB so much lately, but I’ve been eating it straight from the spoon.
Lunch was sort of plain again. Salad w/salsa, cheese and watermelon. Brought the apple sauce back home with me.
Dinner was going to be chicken, but ended up being a salad w/about 8 ounces of ground turkey (cooked with a red onion, green & red peppers and cayenne pepper), 1/2 of a fabulous avocado, tomatoes, sour cream (because I’m out of Jon’s yogurt) and some pepperjack cheese. This is definitely comfort-type food for me – SO good.
Calories = 1,670, Fat = 96g, Carbs = 131g, Protein = 93g. Still not an optimal day, but not too bad. The carbs are going to be high until the watermelon is gone (and I cry).
I’m sore and tired tonight and can’t believe I’m up at almost 11PM. Going to be cranky tomorrow.
I am glad , i have read this .
Congratulation
Thank you!
Looks good! I allow myself some berries a couple of times per week, only low GL fruits at this stage while I’m controlling my insulin in order to lose weight (and it’s still working!). That watermelon must be spiking your blood sugar to buzzville, you’ll be glad when it’s gone
I’ve never had the lazy thoughts either – the closest I’ve come, I’d say, would be during the run of the school production I directed in May, where I didn’t watch my calorie count, but still ate primal foods. I logged everything though, finding out later that some days I was hitting the 2500 zone (my BMR, as it happens) and one day I only managed 400kcal. Oops. Didn’t lose any weight, didn’t gain either, but tracking closely was a stress I didn’t need
I don’t really think that CBT is relevant beyond looking at whether you tend towards relishing the positive achievements or dwelling on the negatives. But Dr. Jonny Bowden makes the mental and emotional a big part of his Diet Boot Camp – or so his spammy emails suggest.
Have you tried almond butter? Peanut butter is a bit of a paleo no-no, and some of the enzymes might be interfering with your health… Plus, almond butter is delicious, filling, and far less moreish!
If you often run short on time in the morning, you could try hard boiling some eggs the night before and having them waiting, peeled, in the fridge to grab-and-go. I did that a few times when I would have otherwise skipped breakfast. Tinned tuna is good for that too.
Good luck disguising the cranky monster tomorrow! Force yourself to smile – you end up cheering yourself up in the process! Gotta love neuro-chemicals
I freakin’ LOVE watermelon. Sad? No way. I recognize that it’s not doing anything good for the carb intake, but I’m ok with that. And yes, I LOVE almond butter (I pretty much love everything). I’m not 100% w/the primal thing and I doubt I ever will be. I try, but I have some freak personality trait that makes me want to rebel. My goal at this point is to keep carbs lower than 150 per day. Baby steps.
Unfortunately, I HAVE had the lazy thoughts. Lots of them. I’m just starting to realize that they’re going away. The CBT thing is something that I need to put more thought into, but I definitely see how it could be effective for weight loss purposes should a person be struggling with the emotional/mental aspect of it … and I definitely do.
Thanks for the tips!
I’ve been lurking for a little while and just thought I would pipe up to say thanks for the inspiration you provide. (Also? I love pictures of people’s food. LOL)
Thank you for the feedback! It definitely motivates me to keep it up – which is a good thing. I love pictures of people’s food, too. The internet is great … if for nothing else than to confirm I’m not the only person out there who enjoys just LOOKING at food!
I think I will make a salad like that for dinner! Yum. And also the other salad, with salsa on it… genius!
I tied myself for my highest weight last fall (I had been there before, lost a few, and went back). I’ve lost about 25 lbs since then, and will soon be hitting the “overweight” BMI category (as opposed to “obese”) for the first time in maybe 6 years. I know those are arbitrary numbers, but it will feel so good not to be obese! It was definitely some “jacked up thinking” that got me there. Now, I love passing by all those hideous chain restaurants and not even being tempted.
Congratulations on all your hard work
Thanks! And congratulations to you, too!
I’ll be happy to be in the “overweight” category, too, even though I try not to worry about that stuff too much. Can’t help but think about it just a little, ya know?