I woke up yesterday with such extreme heel pain I could barely walk. I went to a piyo class the morning before and a bootcamp class the night before, so I’m guessing the bootcamp is the culprit. We did a lot of jumping jacks, shuffles, jogging, etc. Yesterday was by far the worst it’s ever been, so I looked up a podiatrist and intended to call today. In the meantime, I went to pilates last night and came home seemingly healed. For whatever reason … stretching, I guess … pilates always cures the pain. This morning I feel nothing and I’m now unconvinced that I should call that podiatrist. I know I should since this happens every time I run, but I just don’t want to. Laziness, cheapness, whatever. I hate going to doctors.

I had a pretty shitty day, in general, yesterday. I woke up and was in pain, I was bored by 8:30am, the internet went down several times, husband is out of town, etc. I had just started climbing the walls around 5pm when I remembered pilates. I swear it saved the day. I’m still not sure how I forgot about it since I’ve been going for months, but I did. I was amazed at how much it lifted my mood. I know I could’ve gone to the gym and done my own thing during the day, but I think I needed the interaction with familiar people as much as I needed the workout.

My plan today is to meet the trainer in a couple of hours and then head to the gym after that for another hour of cardio. Just have to get through 3 more work days until my placement starts. I will survive these few days and then the complaints will shift, but I will be happier.

I honestly had no idea how stressed I’ve been until it ended. I feel amazing … and happy … and free! Turns out high levels of stress = a decrease in exercise, but low levels = some sort of energetic burst that has me at the gym 2 hours a day. It should be the other way around, but it is what it is. Regardless, I am incredibly happy to be back at it with such intensity. 2 or 3 times a week kept me from gaining and allowed me to lose a few pounds, but 2 or 3 hours a day enables me to lose pretty quickly and to realize significant increases in ability.

There is definitely a fine balance between too much and too little activity for me. Either end of the spectrum causes stress, so I’m hoping to stay right in the middle for at least a week. I’m on day 2 of freedom and I’m already bored, so it’s not looking good. This is the first summer I’ve not been working full time or going to classes (or both), so I’m in new territory. I start a new field placement next week, though, and I seriously can’t wait.

I’m still fiddling with my diet and have been trying to reduce carbs as much as possible. I decided to wing it, though, and haven’t been counting anything at all. No points, no calories, etc. I think I need to learn how to do this without rigid boundaries, so I’m giving it a try. I’m ok if that means I won’t lose weight as quickly. I need to do it. I kind of look at it as a removal of training wheels … scary, but necessary.

I’m not sure that I’m going to keep updating the stats and logs pages. I like having the record, but I think I became a little too fixated on numbers and plans. Taking it all day by day was my intention when I began and I think that’s what helped keep me going. I don’t look at the log calendar and see a record/history, though. Seeing an empty calendar sparks my perfectionist drive and causes me to make plans and goals, etc. that I feel like a failure if I don’t or can’t keep. I like the laid back approach I took when I started the weight loss process, so I might continue it. I’m thinking that I don’t really care what exercise I did on what day, anyway. We’ll see.

I have no idea what happened to March. It’s a blur that pains me to think about, so I just won’t. I think I’m going to finally have some time that I can fill with fun things (without guilt), so maybe I’ll be able to post more. I haven’t been so good about keeping up with the stats or the exercise log here, but I’ve been keeping up with it on paper. The good news: I’ve been losing, with fluctuations, of course, and have seen an overall loss of about 5 pounds for the month of March. I’m not exercising nearly as much as I could be and I’m not strictly counting anything food-wise, so apparently some of my new habits have stuck and are paying off. I’ve eaten a few bad meals recently and I’ve even eaten a few pints of ice cream here and there. I consistently go back to normal, though, which is a very, very good thing considering those bad meals and pints of ice cream used to be normal … so I’m pretty happy. So happy, in fact, that I think the more relaxed way of doing things is actually the way to go.
(Bad and normal being relative, of course.)

I am really looking forward to ramping up the training once classes are over. I dropped down to once a week because I’ve just had no time, but I miss it. I’ve been going to pilates as I’ve been available (usually at least once per week), and I’ve gone to a couple of bootcamp classes …. and I went to a class with a friend at her gym a few weeks ago. And I went to the outdoor track before dawn ONCE and jogged with (behind) Jon. A week hasn’t gone by that hasn’t had some sort of exercise … at least 2-3 times each week … but I just haven’t been able to keep up the volume I prefer and I miss it. Also? Turns out stress + no exercise = extreme crankiness.

I am experimenting with the primal thing, which seemed like just another hokey diet at first glance, but I’m finding that it makes more sense as I read.
I’m doing it for one reason: I feel pretty good when I consciously reduce my carb intake and feel like shit when I eat nothing but carbs all day.
I’m struggling with it for one reason: I love carbs. I’m not strictly following it (I think I have a gene that prevents me from becoming fanatical about anything), but I’m thinking about it as I plan and eat my meals and I’m trying to be aware of my carb intake. Ultimately, I will never be a diet person, so I bristle sometimes (crazily, at my self-imposed eating plan that I don’t even consider a diet) and eat my brownies and ice cream, but hey, I’m trying.