2.6 down! Not really sure how that happened after the weekend of crap, but whatever. I knew that the gain last week was temporary. I’m sure the amount of exercise I do on a regular basis helped. I’m happy about it.

No exercise
Breakfast: 2 Scrambled Eggs, 2 Chicken & Apple Sausage Links, Grapes, Coffee (7)
Lunch: LC Sesame Chicken (7)
Dinner: Tilapia Fillet, Wheat Bun, Mayo, Lettuce, Steamed Squash & Zucchini (9)
Snacks: Almonds, Ice Cream (approx 12)
Total Points: 35

I woke up this morning and really struggled to want to meet with my trainer. I often feel this way and I’m not sure why I haven’t gotten over myself and solidly learned that working out improves my mood more than just about anything else. I left my session feeling great, of course. I also felt like I wanted to do some hardcore cardio. This is a new phenomenon and is one that I’m starting to recognize quite a bit. I often want to run or do some sort of cardio even if I’ve done strength/weight training for an hour or more and am often disappointed if I don’t have time. It’s a pretty strong, constant urge. It’s wild. I never expected this.

Today
1 hour w/trainer
Breakfast: Special K, Milk, Coffee (3)
Lunch: 1oz Almonds, Babybel Cheese, Gatorade (7)
Dinner: Tilapia Fillet, Asparagus, Sweet Potato w/1T Brummel & Brown (9)
Snack: Ice Cream (9)
Total: 28 Points
Uhhh … So, I got a lot of dairy in today. I seriously spent over 10 minutes looking at ice cream when I stopped on the way home to pick up some groceries. My internal debates are pretty comical when I think about them later. Today’s debate wasn’t about whether to buy the ice cream, but was about buying the best option I could find. I doubt many people examine their ice cream options quite as closely as I did today. I don’t like low-fat, sugar free, etc. products, so I tried really hard to find the best full-fat/sugar options that I could. I know that I’m going to need to do something about my sugar cravings, but I’m not willing to think about it right now. It’s my last holdout.

I spent 6 hours driving (sitting) on Saturday and 6 hours driving (sitting) today. I have had little exercise since Thursday and I’ve eaten nothing but crap. Smart, huh?

I have apparently lost all control. I don’t know what happened to my motivation, but I’m having a really hard time staying focused on monitoring my eating. I’m very aware that I’ve been whining about this for weeks now. I’m just going to have to take it one day at a time. Tomorrow should be better.

I think that I’ve turned a corner when it comes to fast food. I used to eat fast food multiple times a week. Sometimes multiple times a day. Now? I just don’t want it. It’s not appealing to me at all. I feel completely turned off if I can see grease or if I wind up with that greasy feel in my mouth. It happened a couple of times this weekend and I just felt really horrible afterward. I know that I sound like a broken record. I know that eating the wrong kind of food makes me sick. I think the fast food portion of the lesson has finally sunken in, though. I chose to come home this afternoon to eat dinner here vs. stopping to pick something up despite being exhausted. I just couldn’t face the grease. A weekend of crap is enough. I may not be able to visit my family again until I’ve reached my weight loss goal.

I don’t typically count everyday activity as exercise, but I spent several hours cleaning out my mom’s attic yesterday. I carried things up and down stairs and hauled heavy boxes around and I’m counting it. I initially dreaded helping with this, but it turns out that I really enjoyed the physical activity. I had tons of energy and would’ve kept working had we not run out of things to do. I’m always caught by surprise when things like this happen. I know for sure that I wouldn’t have been able to do half what I did 45 pounds ago. I am very excited about my potential energy level.

Today
No exercise
Breakfast: (Cracker Barrel) 2 Scrambled Eggs, 2 Turkey Sausage, Hashbrown Casserole, 2 Biscuits w/Gravy, Coffee
Lunch: Nothing
Dinner: Lentil Soup, Toasted Cheese (Provolone) Sandwich, Water
Snack: Celery Sticks w/Peanut Butter, Handful of Raw Almonds

Sunday
No real exercise – attic cleaning
Breakfast: (IHOP) 2 Scrambled Eggs, 2 Bacon, 2 Pancakes w/Syrup, Coffee
Lunch: Nothing
Dinner: (Pizza Hut) 2 Slices Thin Crust Supreme, 1 Slice Stuffed Crust Meat Lovers, Coke
No Snacks

Saturday
No exercise
Breakfast: Special K, Milk, Coffee
Lunch: (Arby’s) Chicken Nuggets, Fries, Water
Dinner: (McAlister’s) Chili Nachos, Tea (1/2 Sweet & 1/2 Unsweet)
No Snacks

J made the homemade cinnamon rolls for me. I had a really late class last night and came home to dinner and cinnamon rolls (I have an extremely sweet and thoughtful husband). I was so happy that I ate two and then promptly fell asleep. Then … I woke up this morning and ate another.

I probably would’ve eaten the whole pan had I not put on a pair of jeans that fell off after I zipped them up. My favorite jeans! I tried a different pair of jeans that I very specifically remember NOT wearing during our trip to NY last Christmas because they were way too tight. Again, way too big. I honestly couldn’t believe it! I am apparently very disconnected from my weight loss. Why would I be so shocked that jeans I wore 45+ pounds ago are now too big?

I ate another cinnamon roll at lunch, but that’s it. I’m ready to get rid of them.

Today
No exercise.
Breakfast: Cinnamon Roll, Coffee (tried to give it up, but lasted 2 days)
Lunch: WW Enchiladas, Cinnamon Roll, Water
Dinner: (RT’s) J and I split the mini trio (mini hamburger, turkey burger, and crab) with fries and each got a salad. Water
No Snacks

Yesterday
1 hour w/trainer
Breakfast: Special K, Milk
Lunch: (Wendy’s) Kids Meal (4 Chicken Nuggets, Mandarin Oranges, Kids Frosty, Water)
Dinner: Pork Chop, Steamed Broccoli, Steamed Squash
Snacks: Banana, Ham Sandwich (Wheat Bun, Ham, Mayo), 2 Cinnamon Rolls

I am wanting sugar so badly right now it’s just insane. I tried talking J into making cinnamon rolls, but he won’t. I’m very deprived.

The past few days have been bad, food-wise and stress-wise. I didn’t want to weigh this morning, and thought about putting it off until tomorrow since I’m pretty sure the “gain” is temporary, but I did it. The challenge is self-imposed, but I might as well quit if I’m going to give in and bend the rules on the second week. Next week will be better.

I went to a Mexican place last night and ate a ton. I ate so much, in fact, that I found myself sitting on the bathroom floor at midnight praying that I’d just throw up and get it over with. The meal was a mistake, and it was a mistake that I chose to make because I’ve been so stressed. I wanted a beer and I wanted lots of chips. I wanted the escape that going out and eating gives me. I definitely chose to let food improve my mood. I’ve worked really hard to stop this cycle, but large amounts of stress combined with PMS lead to bad, bad things.

I actually don’t know what the deal is with my stomach, but I’ve been getting sick every time I eat anything even remotely greasy or overly fattening. I think my body is revolting. It just doesn’t want the crap I’ve been eating. I ate at a Mexican place on Saturday and just had fish tacos, a few chips and water – felt fine. I went yesterday and had enchiladas (shrimp & crab), lots of chips w/lots of salsa & cheese dip, rice, beans, beer – sick.

Today
1.5 hours @ gym (1 hr w/trainer, 30 min alone)
Breakfast: 3/4 cup Special K, 1/2 cup Milk (3)
Lunch: LC Sesame Chicken, Slice of Pepperjack Cheese, 5 Prunes (10)
Dinner: Wheat Bun, Slice of Pepperjack Cheese, Tilapia Fillet, Sauteed Kale, Squash & Zucchini (9)
Various Snacks: Gatorade, Banana, Babybel Cheese (5)
I ate way too much cheese today. I had a hard time at the gym and felt very sluggish. Likely because of the horrible dinner yesterday and possibly because I slept too much. 8pm-6:30am? Too much, even if it was interrupted with sickness.

Yesterday
1 hour w/trainer
Breakfast: 3/4 cup Special K, 1/2 cup Milk
Lunch: 2 Slices Wheat Bread, Mayo, Tomato, Lettuce, Ham, Slice of Pepperjack Cheese
Dinner: (Mexican) 2 Enchiladas (shrimp & crab), Rice, Beans, Chips, Salsa, Cheese Dip, Beer
Various Snacks: Sesame Crackers, Babybel Cheese
I fell asleep on the couch around 8 last night and went to bed at 8:30. The dinner just about killed me. So stupid.

Day Before Yesterday
1 hour @ gym (alone)
Breakfast: 3/4 cup Special K, 1/2 cup Milk
Lunch: WW Enchiladas, Salad w/Italian Dressing
Dinner: Chicken Breast, Asparagus, 1/2 Sweet Potato w/1 T Brummel & Brown
Various Snacks: Sesame Crackers, Babybel Cheese, Mixed Nuts, Slice of Pepperjack Cheese

Oh. My. GOD. The ribs that I ate yesterday made me incredibly sick. I knew that it might happen since I got sick the last time I ate them, but I was willing to try again because … I don’t really know. I was hungry? I had nothing in the house to eat? The BBQ place is very close to my house? I swore I’d never eat there again, but I did. I had heartburn within a couple of hours. I had heartburn when I woke up this morning. It’s ridiculous!

No exercise.
Breakfast: (Local Cafe) SPLAT Sandwich – Smoked Salmon, Parsley Cream Cheese, Tomato, Lettuce, Avocado, Sourdough Bread & Coffee
Lunch – Sandwich – Wheat Bun, Chicken, Lettuce, Mayo, Tomato, Cucumber Slices, Pepperjack Cheese & Water
Dinner – Chicken & Dumplings (A bunch of ingredients including LOTS of BUTTER)
Snack: (Local Bakery) Huge Cranberry & Orange Cookie and about half of a Blueberry Almond Cookie

I am halfheartedly counting points. Some days I do it, some days I don’t. I didn’t today. One day at a time.